Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

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Daughter of Ishmael by Diane Stringam Tolley

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by Diane Stringam Tolley

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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Phobias: Baths -or- The Reason I Shower

Daddy and Me.
My parents should have produced
fatter children.
Then all of this could have been
avoided . . .

I loved baths.
Loved them.
In fact, once Mom got me into the tub, it was a major chore to get me out.
I would swim and play like a little fish, till the water cooled to the point that it was tepid.
And I was shivering.
I know. I know.
Makes no sense to me, either.
But I was four.
Little that one does, makes sense when you're four.
Moving on . . .
One day, Mom discovered a technique that shot me out of the tub quicker than a wet, slippery little bar of soap.
She pulled the plug.
While I was still in the tub.
Eeeeek!
What were we saying about making sense?
The water started down the drain.
Gurgle.
Gurgle.
Gurgle.
And suddenly, I knew that I was going to go down with it.
Oops. There goes Diane.
I knew what my parents would say . . .
“Darn! Lost another one! Guess we'll have to get us another little girl!”
Okay, so even at four I had a lot of imagination.
After that, all Mom had to do was reach for the plug.
It was like she put a current of electricity through the water.
Zip!
I would be standing, shivering on the bathmat.
Clean.
But whole.

8 comments:

  1. I think every mother know this method. Did you pull the plug on a child yourself?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I used to think that if I didn't get off the escalator quick enough that I would get sucked into the void under the floor along with those metal'stairs'. (Michelle)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh dear! LOL Your mom was one smart lady!

    My husband's father used to stop hour-long showers by turning off the hot water supply. Same sort of thing, I guess.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Diane, this post is delightful! I can imagine you as a child believing you would go down the drain with the bath water! hee hee! Your mother was crafty! It just goes to show how mothers know exactly what to do to get their kids to obey! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Four year olds never have been geniuses - just four year olds...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Diane, I love to visit you and read your thoughts. You always make me look at things in a new way or laugh. I love that! Thank you! Smiles -

    ReplyDelete

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