Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



All of My Friends

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Husband for Sale

Perfect for each other.

My Mom had been raised on a ranch.
She knew cattle
And  could speak the language with anyone.
But there were times when she longed to change the conversation.
She and Dad were out with a group of friends.
Fellow ranchers.
The conversation veered, as it always did, to the discussion of the newest miracle bull.
"That 55L! What a bull! Longest animal I've ever seen!"
An animal's length is important. More beef on the hoof.
Just FYI.
The men were enraptured.
The women, silent, polite listeners.
Mom tried to add some colour other than red and white to the conversation.
We did something different this weekend," she said. "We went to a Gilbert and Sullivan . . ."
But the men's conversation continued unabated.
"You know, 55L was unknown until his calves hit the ground! Long. Tall. Big as colts!"
"We saw the Pirates of Penzance," Mom finished weakly.
No one heard her.
She sighed and withdrew.
But her mind was working busily.
A few days later, Mom again took a back seat to Dad's cows.
Giving up on a much anticipated wedding because Dad couldn't go.
That was the last straw.
The next day, she decided to play a prank on my Dad.
She called the local paper and had this ad inserted:
            HUSBAND FOR SALE - Cheap
            Complete with blue jeans, SSS monogrammed shirt, 
            rubber boots, old floppy hat, B.S. spattered coveralls, 
            pitch fork, scoop shovel, feed bucket, 
            25 Hereford cows and one grumpy bull. 
            Not home much. 
            Speaks only COW. Call 244-2108
Then she waited.
Not a word was said, though she saw my father reading the paper and knew that he always finished every word.
The next day, another ad appeared, directly below Mom's.
This one read:
            HONEY FOR SALE
            The sweetest gal this side of Texas. Good mother, 
            helpful, kind, patient, understanding, loving,
            cheerful, caring, cooperative, self-sacrificing, 
            grateful for all favours, especially a frugal income, 
            and as a bonus, is beautiful and loves 
            my Hereford cows. Call 244-2108.
Enough said.

17 comments:

  1. Awwwww...he sure is a sweetie your dad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When he wanted to, he could speak 'Sweetheart' pretty well!

      Delete
  2. Hmmm...nice thank you. And he did sit through Gilbert and Sullivan, even if he wouldn't talk about it. Still a good dad, in my estimation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He did! And enjoyed it! A very good dad!

      Delete
  3. That is so sweet! What a great story. :) I love that your parents had such a great relationship that they could play around with each other like that. It's too bad there aren't more marriages like that in the world these days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was very unique, I've discovered. Took a lot of work and a lot of humour. But the result was priceless. And you're so right. We don't see enough marriages like that!

      Delete
  4. What a wonderful story...made me smile. I think I would have like you MOm and Dad:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! They made me smile, too! Kooky pair!!!

      Delete
  5. LOL!!!!!

    As my grandmother always said...."You can kill them with kindness......or just stop them dead in their tracks with honey."

    Love it. What fun parents you have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honey pretty much does for me, too. I can't go past a sign on the road, 'Honey for Sale' without remembering this story!

      Delete
  6. Awww! I love these kind of fights lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These are the best kind of fights! The fun ones!

      Delete
  7. I'm glad they had such a great connection they both got the joke: such commitment and loyalty is rare: A cowboy is loyal to his "brand," to his friends, and those he rides with

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They were loyal and committed to each other right to the end. My mom passed away ten years ago in April. Dad was with her to the very end.

      Delete
  8. Ha! I was raised on a ranch and just about snorted whiskey at this--SO real! lol Loved this...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you enjoyed it, Chantel! Here's to whiskey snorting!!!

      Delete
  9. HAha! That's so great!!! But did either of them get any calls??

    ReplyDelete

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