Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Saturday, June 21, 2014

The Art of Blurting

Word master. 

I know you’ve done it.

I know I have.
Blurted out something that sounded a whole lot different in your head.
It’s true.
Your brain coughs up a thought.
And hits ‘send’.
Then, somehow, during transition, it gets . . . mixed up.
Maybe exposure to the air changes it.
And it ends up sounding like . . . nothing you intended.
My mom was a master at this.
Example one:
Picture Christmas Eve.
Every available surface in the kitchen groaning beneath seven layers of freshly-baked Christmas delicious-ness.
No supper in sight.
A starving son-in-law, passing the piles of goodies.
Hunger overcomes discretion.
He pops a butter tart into his mouth.
Mom, emerging from the point of action in front of the oven, red-faced and carrying yet another pan of treats, “Don’t eat that! It’s for Christmas!”
Example two:
Mom brings home the good peanut better.
Not the cheap stuff which comes in a tin, allowing all of the oil to rise to the top so that the upper layers are too creamy and the bottom layers need to be chiseled from the container with a hammer then passed through the meat grinder to make them of a consistency to spread.
Which tin, I should mention, is still on the shelf gathering dust.
Sooo . . . the good peanut butter.
Which is immediately set upon by the ‘finickily-starved’ (I just made that up) peanut butter fiends that inhabit the house.
“I’m going to stop buying that peanut butter. You kids just eat it!”
Mom taught her daughters well.
I, too have had my share of ‘things-said-that-didn’t-come-out-just-right’.
We were discussing a young man of our acquaintance who had been born with weak joints in his hips.
My mother-in-law was cautioning my kids not to jump off the retaining wall in her back garden, citing this young man as an example of ‘damage that could follow’.
I knew that his condition was genetic.
Or congenital.
Which mean the same thing.
What came out was, “Oh, but I thought his condition was genital!”
Wait. Everybody un-hear that!
Just let me suck those words back into my mouth!
Admit it.
It’s happened to you . . .

23 comments:

  1. Well, just last weekend, we were out of town and watching performer at a summer evening event. He was juggling fire on batons, and I saw that there was a large hoola hoop lying in the grass...so I blurted out, "That guy has a really big..." I never got to hoola hoop because so many people were turned around looking at me and when I realized what they thought I was about to say, I started giggling uncontrollably. So, yes, I join you in the blurting out club where all we can do is laugh at ourselves!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Giggling uncontrollably. That's my solution, too! :)

      Delete
  2. More times than I care to admit.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Almost daily I blurt something in my "outside voice" that should have remained "inside".

    ReplyDelete
  4. What's a butter tart? (do you see a trend here?) LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oooh, Carol! More buttery, gooey deliciousness! Yep. Butter!

      Delete
  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, yes, I've done it ... but I can't give you any particulars because I am repressing those memories big time. But I sure have done it :) "Everybody un-hear that" - so funny and so true! This is why I'm better off writing my thoughts down in a letter than calling people on the phone ... that little 'delete' button :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVE the 'delete' button. Why, oh why don't I have one on my mouth?!

      Delete
  7. So funny! My mom once called Michael Douglas "such a philanthropist" (we were talking about his affair, so I think she meant philanderer). My dad wouldn't let us use the electric locks in his new company car, because we "might wear them out". Huh? I'm the offspring of these two, so you can only imagine what comes out of my mouth! When my son was 5, he was having a spectacular tantrum, and I told him to stop acting like a "child". Oh well.... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bwahahaha! I love your parents! They sound just like mine.:) And you sound just like me! Kindred spirits . . .

      Delete
  8. Been there; done that; got the T-shirt...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Let me put it this way---I have a box of letters written, but never mailed because with snail mail, by the time you've addressed an envelope, affixed a stamp and found a mail box, you've had plenty of time to reconsider sending the letter. With email---not so much. To make matters worse, there's that dangerous "reply all" button and the people who just keep threading one email after another into an endless stream, so you don't realize that some of the old stuff should have been shredded. Finally, did you hear about the time I thought I was forwarding an email to my law partner---not our competitor............

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, no! Bwahahaha! Probably funnier much, much later . . .

      Delete
  10. I agree with Suzanne Fluhr - sometimes blurting isn't just spoken. I once was really annoyed with someone for delaying my daughter from getting home on time. I meant to text her to say they were being rude and she should excuse herself, and realized too late that I had sent that text to the person who was delaying her!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's getting the info right where it needed to be. Unfortunately . . . :)

      Delete
  11. Hahahaha...you'd get along very well with my mother. She's well known for her foot in mouth faux pas!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Seven layers of freshly baked Christmas deliciousness?
    I want to live at your house, okay your mum's house.
    Laughing at "you kids just eat it!"
    And I too have blurted out many a wrong statement. None come to mind right now, but they're out there!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting! Drop by again!

Real Estates: All Murders Included in the Price!

Real Estates: All Murders Included in the Price!
My FIRST murder mystery!

Blessed by a Curse

Blessed by a Curse
My very first Medieval Romance!

God's Tree

God's Tree
For the Children

Third in the series

Third in the series
Deborah. Fugitive of Faith

The Long-Awaited Sequel to Daughter of Ishmael

The Long-Awaited Sequel to Daughter of Ishmael
A House Divided is now available at all fine bookstores and on Amazon.com and .ca!

Daughter of Ishmael

Daughter of Ishmael
Now available at Amazon.com and .ca and Chapters.ca and other fine bookstores.

Romance still wins!

Romance still wins!
First romance in a decade!

Hosts: Your Room's Ready

Hosts: Your Room's Ready
A fun romp through the world's most haunted hotel!

Hugs, Delivered.

Compass Book Ratings

Compass Book Ratings

Ghost of the Overlook

Ghost of the Overlook
Need a fright?

My Granddaughter is Carrying on the Legacy!

My Granddaughter is Carrying on the Legacy!
New Tween Novel!

Gnome for Christmas

Gnome for Christmas
The newest in my Christmas Series

SnowMan

SnowMan
A heart warming story of love and sacrifice.

Translate

My novel, Carving Angels

My novel, Carving Angels
Read it! You know you want to!

My Second Novel: Kris Kringle's Magic

My Second Novel: Kris Kringle's Magic
What could be better than a second Christmas story?!

Join me on Maven

Connect with me on Maven

Essence

Essence
A scientist and his son struggle to keep their earth-shattering discovery out of the wrong hands.

Essence: A Second Dose

Essence: A Second Dose
Captured and imprisoned, a scientist and his son use their amazing discovery to foil evil plans.

Looking for a Great Read?

E-Books by Diane Stringam Tolley
Available from Smashwords.com

The Babysitter

The Babysitter
A baby-kidnapping ring has its eye on J'Aime and her tiny niece.

Melissa

Melissa
Haunted by her past, Melissa must carve a future. Without Cain.

Devon

Devon
Following tragedy, Devon retreats to the solitude of the prairie. Until a girl is dropped in his lap.

Pearl, Why You Little...

Pearl, Why You Little...
Everyone should spend a little time with Pearl!

The Marketing Mentress

The Marketing Mentress
Building solid relationships with podcast and LinkedIn marketing

Coffee Row

Coffee Row
My Big Brother's Stories

Better Blogger Network

Semper Fidelis

Semper Fidelis
I've been given an award!!!

The Liebster Award

The Liebster Award
My good friend and Amazing Blogger, Marcia of Menopausal Mother awarded me . . .

Irresistibly Sweet Award

Irresistibly Sweet Award
Delores, my good friend from The Feathered Nest, has nominated me!

Sunshine Award!!!

Sunshine Award!!!
My good friend Red from Oz has nominated me!!!

My very own Humorous Blogger Award From Delores at The Feathered Nest!

Be Courageous!


Grab and Add!

Search This Blog

Ghost of the Overlook

Ghost of the Overlook
Need a fright?