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Daughter of Ishmael by Diane Stringam Tolley

Daughter of Ishmael

by Diane Stringam Tolley

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Sunday, July 6, 2014

Being a DIY-er

Let's run through this again . . .

I'm a people-pleaser.

Or try to be.
Call it a weakness.
But I've always had this compulsion to make everyone around me as comfortable as possible.
Most of the time, it's fun.
Occasionally, not.
Let me tell you about it . . .
When I was first married, my greatest wish was to see my new Husby happy, comfortable and well-fed.
I worked hard at it.
Fortunately, he is a kind and considerate man, so all was well.
I had meals ready at meal times.
Kept the laundry done.
Cleaned the house.
Ran errands.
This went on for some time.
Then, I began to realize that some of the 'errands' were jobs he could have done equally well himself.
And probably should.
Case in point:
Whenever he would use a tissue ( Kleenex), he would then hand me said used tissue and I would hunt for a garbage to throw it in.
True story.
Can everyone say “gullible”?
This went on for nearly three years.
Then, one day, we were at a reception.
My Husby used a tissue and turned and held it out to me.
Now, the normal people-pleasing Diane would have taken it and found a place to dispose of it.
The new Diane looked at the tissue, then at my Husby and said, “Throw it out yourself.”
Whereupon (good word) he laughed and stuck it into his pocket. “Finally caught on, did you?” he said.
And that's when I hit him.
Oh, not hard.
Just enough for him to know that I was . . . displeased.
And that he could run his own stupid errands from now on.
Ha!
There.
I said it.
Kleenex, anyone?

12 comments:

  1. I love his response--so classic! The truth is that people will take what we give them but if we stop, it's usually ok too. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. He was just trying to make you feel needed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm. I'm sure there are better ways!

      Delete
  3. So funny! For years my husband took his socks off and left them wherever he might be at the time....I would pick them up and put them in the laundry basket. When I finally got sick of it, I got a similar response to the one your hubby gave you. I'm pretty sure I threw the dirty socks at him :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heehee! My Husby STILL leaves his socks everywhere. I'm going to try your solution!

      Delete
  4. Gives new meaning to the term DIY, Diane! People-pleasers need a strong built-in bullfeather detector to go along with all that empathy, don't they? (said a fellow people-pleaser :) )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bullfeather detector! Love it! I want one!

      Delete
  5. I used to be a people pleaser but not to that extent! And I gave up being a people pleaser several years ago, wonderfully liberating it is!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I tend do this for my husband then when the tables turned and I got sick he did everything for me. It makes it nice if it's always appreciated (most of the time). Like you, there are days when I just say do it yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But your husby's perfect! Or nearly . . .

      Delete

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Diane was born and raised on one of the last of the great old Southern Alberta ranches. A way of life that is fast disappearing now. Through her memories and stories, she keeps it alive. And even, at times, accurate . . .

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