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Daughter of Ishmael by Diane Stringam Tolley

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by Diane Stringam Tolley

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Thursday, August 20, 2015

Got Clean?

Okay. I admit it.
Sometimes kids have a strange idea of what’s funny.
Let me explain . . .
My brother, George, and I loved watching TV.
Like millions of other baby-boomers before and after us.
And, between our beloved slices of Gunsmoke, Woody Woodpecker, Bonanza, Ed Sullivan and Disney we were electrified by the ads for snowier wash, whiter teeth, hot drinks good to the last drop, better cleansers, stickier bandages, fluffier pastries, softer bread, happier soft drinks and new, new, new contraptions.
We had the jingles - indeed most of the ads - memorized.
Often, putting them to our own distinct uses.
George had a beloved T-shirt.
One he insisted on wearing daily until it was forcibly (sometimes surgically) removed for cleaning.
When it was returned to him, clean and fresh, he would happily re-don it for yet another cycle.
Said shirt justifiably began to show the wear.
Tiny holes started to appear along the seams and in a couple of places on the front.
These were happily ignored until, inevitably, they grew to sizes where ignorance could not justifiably be bliss.
And this is where he and I thought things took on a whole new hilarious angle.
Mom had been agitating for George to retire his adored shirt.
George was resisting.
Their dialogue was ongoing.
Finally Mom took the shirt and held it up, pointing out the obvious wear and gradually widening holes.
George took it and he, too, held it up. “This shirt is not only clean,” he said. He placed his eye up to one of the larger holes. “It is clean clear through!”
Okay, the makers of Fab laundry detergent probably didn’t have holes in mind when they created their ads. But George and I thought it was totally apt.
And totally hilarious.
Mom? Not so much.

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15 comments:

  1. This could have been a money making proposition. I bet those laundry detergent companies would pay George NOT to hold up that shirt and recite their ad.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love it. And I have some favourite clothes which I wear to death and beyond too.
    Mind you, I can remember seeing a handy hint for repairing a hole in a tablecloth which started off with 'lay cloth down - with hole uppermost'...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Little problem...Amazon.ca is not offering Gnome For Christmas in hard cover and hard cover is how I want it so can add it to my Christmas collection.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! That is the only drawback. They only publish in soft-cover. I'm so sorry! :(

      Delete
  4. Too funny! I am also guilty of wearing holey clothing.

    I love Karen's and EC's comments!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me, too. I just get them to the point where they're comfortable and they fall off me. Sigh.
      I love Karen and EC! :)

      Delete
  5. Well done George.
    We had Fab, but the Lemon Fresh one in a yellow box and the TV ad showed a woman opening the box and being engulfed by an avalanche of lemons. For years it was my favourite detergent, it worked so well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My daughter was always more interested in the ads than the actual TV program and would walk around the house singing jingles she had heard all day long.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My husband wears clothes that have been cleaned clear through multiple times. In fact, it was a rare occasion when his socks actually covered his toes. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete

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Diane was born and raised on one of the last of the great old Southern Alberta ranches. A way of life that is fast disappearing now. Through her memories and stories, she keeps it alive. And even, at times, accurate . . .

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