Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

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Daughter of Ishmael by Diane Stringam Tolley

Daughter of Ishmael

by Diane Stringam Tolley

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Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Cat Cleaning

Two things you have to know before I start.
Blacken was a black cat. A thirty-pound black cat.
And Blacken could take care of himself . . .
It was a fairly normal day in the Hippard household.
People doing . . . household things. Cooking, tending children, office work, cleaning.
It was this last that was ultimately responsible for the ‘incident’.
Logan was in the office, attending to the afore-mentioned work when he detected a change in the regular household sounds.
A different voice.
A man’s.
Stepping to the door, he clearly heard, “And as you can see, the Sux Vacuum can easily clean up this mess. Far better than any other conventional cleaning product. Because it really sucks!”
Or some such statement-guaranteed-to-make-a-sale.
Shaking his head, Logan returned to his work.
But no sooner had he crossed the room, when he heard, “And now I’d like to show you the ‘pet attachment’.”
Logan knew the only animal that could possibly be within reach was Blacken (see above).
This, he had to see . . .
Hurrying down the short hallway, Logan was just in time to see the salesman – not without difficulty – pick the large cat up from its comfortable ‘I’m-relaxing-don’t-bother-me-if-you-know-what’s-good-for-you’ position on the living room rug.
Gripping the animal firmly, he picked up the vacuum hose with handy-dandy pet attachment . . . erm . . . attached.
“Okay, turn it on!” he said to someone else in the room.
The sound of the motor was immediate.
As was what happened next.
Just a hair (pardon the pun) behind the sound of the motor, and in an effort to get somewhere – anywhere – else, the cat instantly came to life.
With every sharpened digit fully extended, it climbed the man’s face.
And leaped from the top of his head to the nearest vacuum-less place.
Everyone in the room, with the possible exception of the two protagonists, saw the fall-on-the-floor-laughing potential of the incident.
Which they did.
For some minutes.
Because.
I should probably mention, here, that both claw-er and claw-ee survived the encounter – though the cat with much less wear and tear.
And, possibly in an act of contrition, the family purchased the vacuum.
Without the pet attachment.



14 comments:

  1. Obviously this salesman had never had any experience with cats.

    ReplyDelete
  2. We had a great cat, "Tuxie" who really loved to be vacuumed with the upholstery tool and the small brush. I must admit that the small canister type vacuum had to be around the corner so the noise wasn't too loud. He was the only cat we had who liked that. =^..^=

    ReplyDelete
  3. We had a dog who liked being gently vacuumed, but I can only wish that any of our cats would be so accommodating ... that salesman was probably wishing that, too. Cats have so many pointy bits!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Pointy bits'! Bwahahahaha! Sadly, true.

      Delete
  4. I would have ran just seeing the cat! I'm terrified of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm okay with cats. Just don't try to vacuum a chicken in my vicinity!

      Delete
  5. Our cats all view the vacuum as the Suck Monster, and give it a wide berth. Anyone trying to use it on them would bleed. Copiously.
    Years back we had a cat whose treatment of vacuums showed that she was familiar with snakes.
    She would leap up in the air, and land just behind the nozzle and bite the head of that sucker viciously. And then leap off to the side out of the 'heads' reach.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah. The old vacuum/snake kill shot. Our dogs are the same. They go for the hose just behind the nozzle. No wild vacuums in our house, I'll tell you!

      Delete
  6. He was going to try to vacuum the cat??

    I've been thinking I should get a vacuum with a 'pet attachment', then again, the lint roller does a good enough job. Takes longer, but I certainly have plenty of time on my hands.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd say the lint roller is a good deal quieter as well! Sounds like a peaceful occupation to me!

      Delete
  7. The idea of a pet attachment for a vacuum is the perfect set up for a story like this! And really, Blacken is a great name. I mean it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't you just picture it? You have to wonder what else Blacken blackened . . .

      Delete

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