Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

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All of My Friends

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Brain Pain

I’m famous.
Well, at least quoted.
Okay, not famous, but quoted once.
Maybe I should explain . . .
You know those pithy sayings that people spout?
Things like:
The pun is mightier than the word.
The road to success is always under construction.
All my life I've always wanted to be somebody. But I see now I should have been more specific.
When I was a boy I was often told that anybody could become president. I'm beginning to believe it.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Attempt to get a new car for your spouse—it'll be a great trade.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
Every day is a gift, that's why they call it the present.
Good judgement comes from experience, and experience ... well, that comes from poor judgement.
Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel - if there isn't, it's not a tunnel ...
And
No pain, no gain.
It was this last that, in 1983, I changed to suit my own purposes. My version: No brain, no pain.
Okay, yes others have said it, but I swear I'd never heard it when I came up with it.
I said it a lot—especially to my kids whenever they bumped or stubbed or fell. 
My saying was picked up.
And repeated . . .
My good friend, Kelly, was preparing chicken for supper. She had bought a whole bird and was busily cutting it into pieces to fry.
This requires a knife—preferably sharp—which she had.
And finesse. Which came and went.
She was ready to separate a wing from the body. Had set the knife just so. And pressed down. Hard.
The knife slipped.
And caught her innocent bystander of a finger instead.
The blade nearly severed it.
Yes, I know. Horrible.
But now comes the part in between the injury and the medical care.
The part where she grabbed her finger in a tight grip and did the dance of pain around the kitchen.
Accompanied by the words: “I have a brain! I have a brain! I have a brain!”
Later, with her poor hand cozily wrapped, she told me, “All I could think was ‘No brain, no pain.”
See? Famous.

5 comments:

  1. Some of those sayings were new to me. And fabulous, I have to say!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love "no brain, no pain" - it really reminds me to be thankful today; thankful that I can feel the pain as the freezing wears off after some quite impressive dental work ... I have a brain!

    ReplyDelete
  3. So . . . you've been quoted by a woman whose almost severed finger was bleeding all over the floor? That's quite a claim to fame. That'll make quite an epitaph!

    ReplyDelete
  4. And then she ran straight to the hospital and got that finger stitched, yes?
    I can't begin to imagine the pain of a nearly severed finger.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I laughed at the story and then I read the comments. Karen's cracked me up. I can see it now on a headstone! My husband had his finger cut like that when my son tried to split wood for the first time and hit the wrong log. The one my husband was currently resting his finger on...3 feet way!

    ReplyDelete

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Diane was born and raised on one of the last of the great old Southern Alberta ranches. A way of life that is fast disappearing now. Through her memories and stories, she keeps it alive. And even, at times, accurate . . .

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