Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Saturday, December 3, 2016

For the Birds


No

Yes







This story is about sex.
Ahem . . .
I was raised on a ranch.
There are animals on a ranch.
Animals that do ‘animal stuff’.
Eating. Sleeping. Growing.
Making other ‘little’ animals.
Which then eat. And sleep. And grow.
And make other little . . .
You get the picture.
It was the rhythm of life throughout my childhood.
The statement, ‘I grew up with it’?
Applies here.
My earliest memory of the whole ‘animals fulfilling the measure of their creation’ happened when I was four.
Roundup.
A great red and white sea of animals had been penned in the main corrals.
One jumped atop another.
“Daddy, what’s that cow doing?”
My dad turned and looked. Then realized that he wasn’t quite ready to explain the whole reproductive process to his wide-eyed daughter. “Oh,” he said. “Ummm . . . resting his feet.”
“Oh.” I was satisfied.
For a while.
Oh, he did explain things.
Later. When the whole ‘resting his feet’ explanation started to wear a bit thin.
Yes, being raised on a ranch is an eye-opening experience.
By the time I was in grade nine, I knew it all.
Or thought I did.
We were in biology class. My favourite science.
The teacher was talking about animal reproduction.
Yawn.
Specifically: chickens.
“Now the chicken ovulates once a day,” he was saying. “That’s where we get our yummy, delicious eggs.”
I was with him this far.
“But when . . . exposed  . . . to a rooster, the egg becomes fertilized and a chick results.”
Wait a minute.
Roosters have a purpose? Other than the obvious one of chasing us kids around and being generally obnoxious?
Hold the phone!
Unfortunately, my astonishment was, much to my dismay, expressed verbally.
“What?!”
Whereupon (good word) every kid in the class turned and looked at me.
And snickered.
Sigh.
Yep. I was nearly 14.
And I had just learned that birds follow the same reproductive channels (so to speak) as other animals.
Okay. Now, I knew it all.

16 comments:

  1. Ah, I love the delicate language employed by the teacher :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Picture him standing there. A single gentleman. Red faced . . .

      Delete
  2. How lucky you were to know it all at such tender years...

    ReplyDelete
  3. You must have had a fascinating childhood. What a fun story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, Rebecca, I thought everyone had the same upbringing as me. Silly, I know. It wasn't until I started blogging that I realized not everyone was raised on a ranch. Okay, 'silly' doesn't begin to describe it! :)

      Delete
  4. It takes a while but we get there eventually.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm just a little behind . . . everyone.

      Delete
  5. Snickered. What a fabulous word.

    ReplyDelete
  6. When we got a ram to impregnate our ewes, we let the ram loose out there in the field with them. He looked very excited. I announced I was going into the house. Z (age 8) pulled up a lawn chair next to the fence and said, "I'm going to stay and watch!" So, I'm assuming she knows everything now, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that she knows about the rams and the ewes, make sure she knows about the BIRDS and the bees . . . :)

      Delete
  7. Too funny, especially given roosters' um...um...love of resting their feet on hens. Frequently. A brand new euphemism to enjoy!

    ReplyDelete

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