Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Thursday, December 22, 2016

Questioning Christmas

                                          Photo Credit: Kimberley Laakso Photography

I have some questions . . .

Does Claustrophobic label those afraid of Santa Claus?
Is it low elf esteem in Santa’s elf? Depressed by what he was?

Is Christmas like your job? You work. The fat guy gets the credit.
And do you call an Elf who sings a wrapper? There, I said it.

Did Rudeolph get his famous name because he was obnoxious?
Are they really saying deck the Halls? A law suit makes me cautious.

Is the Christmas script unlike the rest because it has noel?
A disbelieving kid a Rebel Without a Claus? Do tell.

Why is Santa’s Christmas wrap exactly like my Mom’s?
Is Santa Claus North Polish? Please, this question’s irked me some.

Is subordinate claus what Santa calls his clever little minions?
This Christmas time, because I’m broke, can I gift you my opinion?

These are things that scorn me when awake at half-past two.
Those trivial things that I can’t answer. Tell me, now, can you?

When the Gingerbread man makes up his bed, does he use a cookie sheet?
Does Santa have three gardens for his, “Hoe. Hoe. Hoe.”? Please Tweet.

And when you do, remember, that it’s not the gifts and tree,
But who is there beside you as you’re sipping on Chablis.

The family and those friends with whom you live throughout the year.
And without whom life would be sad here in this biosphere.

12 comments:

  1. Oh my...that is the biggest collection of groaners I have ever read.

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHAHAHHA if my husband wrote a post, it would be much like this.

    ReplyDelete
  3. only slightly confused is right. And I do hope that poor Santa can enlist the elf service to help in his garden.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like how you think! I could use some of those elves . . .

      Delete
  4. Ho! Ho! Ho! these are funny! And your final observation is so true.

    You two look just like the Mr. and Mrs. Santa in my 7-year-old imagination --- wonderful costumes, and - those warm smiles!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm . . . I think I like your seven-year-old imagination. Sounds a lot like mine! :)

      Delete
  5. This is just fabulous, you're so clever!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very clever wording! I have a few concoctions myself but unfortunately very few are usable in a family-type publication. Have yourself a great Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heh! Heh! I'd still like to hear them . . .
      And a wonderful Christmas to you as well! :)

      Delete

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