Not Just Dumb. Really, Really . . .

Okay. This IS rocket science.

Have you ever done anything dumb?

I mean really, really dumb?

I'm not saying that I have but . . .

Okay, I'm saying that I have.

But, in my defence, our family always had a shower cubicle.

With a door.

Maybe I should explain . . .

It was my first time living away from home.

I was dizzy with joy.

And heavy with responsibility.

So many things that I suddenly needed to know.

And hadn't paid attention to, when my parents had tried to teach.

Sigh.

The learning curve wasn't just steep.

It was nearly vertical.

I muddled through.

With prayer.

And many phone calls home.

Bit by bit, I figured things out.

Our apartment had indoor plumbing.

I just thought I'd mention it.

And a shower nozzle.

I stared at it.

Huh. How could one use that and not spray water everywhere?

You would have to make sure that the nozzle was pointed directly at the wall and be very careful.

Weird.

Why didn't they just put in a cubicle, like the Stringams?

And there was something else I had never seen before.

Above the tub and reaching from wall to wall, was a long rod.

I stared at it, mystified.

What on earth could it be for?

I went to my roommate.

“Guess showering is out of the question.”

“Why,” she asked.

“How do you keep the water off the floor?”

She laughed. “You use a shower curtain.”

“A what?”

Okay, I should clarify here that I had seen shower curtains before.

It's just that I had always designated them decorative, rather than useful.

“I have one. I'll get it.”

My roommate was not only smart, having lived on her own before, but she was also handy.

In no time, we had a brand new plastic curtain strung from the rod over the tub.

Cool.

But did my education stop there?

Sadly, no.

I prepared for my first shower.

In my new apartment.

As an adult.

I added that last, because you might not have realized it.

Moving on . . .

I had a nice shower and pushed back the curtain.

Oh, man! Now there was water all over the floor!

I was going to have to lay down towels to catch the water that ran down the curtain and onto the floor.

What a pain.

I mopped up the water and dressed.

“Shower curtains are dumb!” I said as I passed my roommate, headed for my room.

“Why?”

“They let water get all over the floor!”

“Ummm . . . Diane, you're supposed to put the curtain inside the tub.”

I stopped and looked at her.

“Really?”

I'm sure she spent the next few moments regretting her decision to invite me to stay with her.

She hid it well.

“Yes,” she said patiently. “If you put the curtain inside the tub, the water runs down the curtain and down the drain.”

“Huh.”

I'd like to say that was the last time I did something silly.

I'd be lying.

It wasn't the curtain that was dumb.