Twenty-Four Hour Old Scotch

Okay. This story is about urine specimens.

Ick.

Those who are faint of heart or easily queasy, stop now.

Stop.

I told you to stop.

You don't listen, do you?!

You asked for it  . . .

In today's world, when a doctor requires a urine specimen, he sends his patient to the 'lab'.

See. Handy and dandy.

Or supplies said patient with a handy, dandy little container.

Complete with antiseptic wipes.

This wasn't always the case.

 Let me tell you about it . . .

My parents had been shopping.

I should probably mention, here, that in the 50s, no one ever locked their cars.

This is important.

Moving on . . .

Dad was helping Mom into the car.

A short distance away, a woman was also getting into her car.

A very obviously pregnant woman.

She opened the door.

Then gasped and leaned against her car.

Dad hurried over.

“Are you all right?”

Then he realized that she was laughing.

Really laughing.

“Are you all right?” he asked again.

The woman straightened and wiped her eyes.

Then she pointed at the car seat.

“The . . . the bottle!” she gasped.

Then went into another peal of laughter.

By this time, Mom had joined them.

She and Dad looked at each other and Dad shrugged.

Must be a pregnancy thing.

Finally, the woman calmed somewhat and again, wiped her eyes.

She looked at my parents.

“I'm on my way to my doctor,” she said.

Okay . . .

She looked back into her car and cleared her throat.

“I was supposed to bring in a urine sample.” She pointed into her car. “I left it there.”

My parents glanced at the empty car seat.

The woman looked at them again.

“The only empty bottle I could find was a whisky bottle,” she said.

Ah.

“You left a urine sample in a whisky bottle on the front seat of your car?”

Things aren't always as they appear . . .

Dad was catching on fast.

The woman nodded.

“And someone stole it?”

Again she nodded. “They must have.”

Dad started to laugh.

He ushered Mom back to their car and helped her in.

Then he got into the car and sat back, still laughing.

“What's so funny?” Mom asked.

“Well, all I can think about is how the thief will discover his mistake!” Dad said. “What if it was some kids! Can't you see it? ”

“This is whisky? I don't know what all the fuss is about!”