Thursday, February 6, 2014

Edible Snakes

It'll get you!
I like snakes.
And it's because of my Mom's cooking.
Hmmm. Maybe I'd better explain . . .
I loved to watch my Mom when she was in the kitchen.
I would sit on the cupboard, more or less out of the way.
And follow her movements closely.
She peeled potatoes so fast that I thought every potato had two skins.
I had watched.
Two skins.
Because there was always a skin where she had just peeled.
At other times, she could take her large ceramic bowl and dump in this and that and come out with something delicious.
Every time.
I once told her she was a 'dump cook'.
"I'm a good cook!" she protested.
I tried to explain that that was what I meant, but I don't know if I got through.
But I digress . . .
Sometimes, she would start her trusty Sunbeam mixer.
A sure Diane magnet.
Within seconds, I was standing beside her.
"Mom! Can I have a taste?"
"Honey, it's just butter and sugar."
"But it looks so good!"
"Well, if you want . . ."
Did you know that butter and sugar can actually taste really good?
Well, if dispensed by Mom on a large cake spoon.
But the best of all was when Mom would bake buns.
Or rolls, for anyone who doesn't feel comfortable calling them 'buns'.
She would dump in (see above) bits of this and that and make a large, sticky mass.
Then she would start punching with her hands, adding little bits of flour.
I should point out, here, that if you see a great tub of something powdery and white in Mom's kitchen, icing sugar tastes infinitely better on the end of a wet finger than flour.
Just saying . . .
She would punch and punch until she had her dough to just the right consistency.
And yes, I did know what consistency meant.
For a four-year-old, I was a brainiac.
Mom would pinch off a portion of the larger mass and work it into a long roll, ready to cut into smaller pieces.
Then would come the exciting part.
She would chase me around the kitchen, wiggling this long roll of dough, and saying, "Sssssss!"
That was my cue to run around and shriek loudly.
I was good at it.
The dough snake was going to get me!
The dough snake was going to get me!
Finally, when Mom had had enough, she would set the 'snake' back on the counter and proceed to chop it into bits.
One of which she gave to me.
Snake really tastes delicious.
Remember the part when I said 'brainiac'?
I lied.

14 comments:

  1. Oh, I love how you write, Diane :)

    The explanation about "dump cook" reminded me of a comment I made while young - it was taken wrong because I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence and I have felt badly about it ever since! (After a cousin's wedding, she gave my grandma a rose from her bouquet, and I remarked later - in front of my parents and said grandma - that I wouldn't give a single rose to Grammy ... I was going to say I would give her the whole bouquet ... but, my mom, being very quick on the ball, shushed me and wouldn't let me explain ... and really, it was kind of an unintended criticism of my poor cousin ... so what I learned there was just to keep my mouth shut most of the time :))

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    1. Oh, those times when it really wasn't our fault, but we feel soooo guilty!

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  2. Your mom cooked like my gran...a bit of this and that held together with something else...it always turned out great.

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  3. I swear, your blog posts stop me in the weirdest places! Today it was at "butter and sugar." All I could think about was "..and CINNAMON! butter, sugar and CINNAMON!" OMG. Like crack cocaine. Ok, back to reading.

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    1. Oh, I SO agree! But then I could go back for another taste. And then another after the other spices were added. And then . . . you get the picture . . .

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  4. Your post took me back to when my chin just barely cleared the kitchen counter. Sugar, butter, and vanilla--I don't know how any cookies ever made it into the oven.. And fresh dinner rolls...You nailed this experience!

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    1. Oooh! I should have waited for her to add the vanilla. Muffed it!

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  5. Ha Ha, I can just see you screaming around the kitchen being followed by your mum and the snake! My older daughter is a "dump" cook too, the most marvellous creations come out of her kitchen and she has taught her daughter.....as children we were allowed a sugar sandwich sometimes if we'd been particularly good, butter and sugar....yum!

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  6. You lied??? Oh, shame lol! I love how some people can cook like that..a cup of this, a spoonful of that, whisk, beat or pummel and into the oven after which something yummy happens. It's a real gift.

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    1. It definitely IS a gift. I can't do. But I can appreciate!!! Yumm!

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  7. HAHAHA this is great, Diane! You know, when I was little, I actually took little pats of butter, rolled them in sugar and ate them….which probably explains why I've had a weight issue all my life!

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