Monday, July 7, 2014

Small Town Prejudice

It was my first exposure to 'small town politics'.
Not a pleasant experience.
And I'll never forget it . . .
When I was in grade five, a new family moved to our town.
Parents, children.
The father had been offered the top position in one of the numerous churches in Milk River.
I first learned of the family when I met their daughter - I'm going to call her Sally - on the first day of school in September.
She was a sweet, quiet little girl. Funny.
With shoulder-length, soft brown hair.
And freckles.
We started visiting.
And discovered we had many interests (ie. boys) in common.
We started to 'hang out'.
I invited Sally to my house.
And she reciprocated.
I remember my first visit to her home.
Her parents were very glad to see me.
Almost tearful in their welcome.
It seemed a bit odd that parents would be so interested in one of their children's friends.
But I shrugged it off.
Because they were kind.
And there was a safe, peaceful feeling in their home.
Almost like being in my own.
They asked me about myself and our family.
Seemed very fascinated by every aspect of my life.
Served Sally and I a piece of cake.
I should mention, here, that this was the first time I had ever seen someone serve chocolate layer cake with a dollop of raspberry jam between the layers.
Jam wasn't my favourite thing at any time.
Though the cake was delicious.
Moving on . . .
As I was preparing to leave, Sally's mom gave me a hug and thanked me for being her daughter's friend.
I smiled.
I liked her daughter.
I liked the whole family.
After that, Sally and I were together a lot.
Hanging out at school.
Hanging out at each other's homes.
One day, we were sitting out on her front lawn.
Visiting.
A group of my friends showed up and gathered around us.
For a few minutes, I was happy to have all of my favourite people together.
Then the rest of them got up to go, asking me if I wanted to come with them.
“No. I'm staying here with Sally,” I told them.
“Why do you hang out with her?” one of my friends demanded. “The whole town hates them!”
I stared at him.
The town hated my friend?
I had never heard of such a thing.
My friends left.
But I sat there and turned that statement over in my ten-year-old mind.
The town hated my friend and her family.
Hated.
Weird.
I looked at Sally.
I looked at her kind, caring family.
Now some of what they had said and done began to make sense.
Their almost tearful excitement over Sally having a friend.
Their interest in me.
I talked to my parents about it.
They looked at each other.
“I don't know why,” my dad said. “But for some reason, the reverend has gotten off on the wrong foot with other members of the congregation.”
“But I was told the whole town hated them.”
“Well, not the whole town,” Mom said. “And we certainly don't.”
I shrugged it off.
And kept on being Sally's friend.
I helped them scrub egg off the front of their house.
Wondering, at the time, how on earth they had managed to spill eggs clear up there.
I kept Sally with me when other kids at school teased her.
I didn't understand any of it.
These were wonderfully kind, sweet people.
Caring.
Considerate.
How could everyone not see that?
One day, Sally wasn't at school.
I walked over to her house.
It was empty.
She and her family had moved.
Gone back to where they came from.
For weeks, I was sad.
She had been my friend.
I had loved playing with her.
And now she was gone.
A new family moved into Sally's house.
A new leader for her church.
Someone who didn't 'get off on the wrong foot'.
They stayed.
But I never forgot Sally.
My friend with the soft brown hair and freckles.
Or my first experience with small town prejudice.

30 comments:

  1. only goes to prove that bullies come in all ages.

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  2. That must have been quite a congregation. Sigh.

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  3. It leaves the mind spinning....what on earth could have been so bad to leave practically a whole town on edge over one family...that something couldn't have been done to rectify the situation. Just confirms what I have always believed....people are nuts.

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    1. I wish I knew. Actually, I'm better off not knowing! An you're right. People are nuts!

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  4. From your writing Diane, it has seemed like you would be a good friend to have - and now I am sure of it! Sally has probably never forgotten you!

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    1. Thank you, Susan! How kind. I've never forgotten her!

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  5. So sad - what a good friend you were! I'm constantly amazed at how cruel some people can be.

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    1. I've never understood cruelty. Can't they see how the other people are feeling?

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  6. Diane you are the winner of the Summer Writers/Readers give-a-way package for Words For Wednesday. I'll be needing your mailing address.

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  7. What a shame ... I think Susan F. is right - Sally probably never forgot your friendship. Too bad you didn't have a chance to say goodbye, or maybe arrange to write to each other ...

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    1. I've often wished I could at least have said goodbye.

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  8. That's so sad. As one of those who moved to a new and very closed community when I was 9, I can tell you without a doubt: you made a difference to Sally. And I'd be willing to bet she hasn't forgotten you.

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    1. I do hope you had better memories of your move! Sally sure had an influence on me! I'll never forget her!

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  9. That could've been me.

    We moved. A lot. And in one town in particular, no one liked us. No one. We were shunned, and we never figured out why. I shudder to think what I would've become had we stayed there, but we, too, moved.

    I'm glad Sally had a friend in you.

    Pearl

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    1. Pearl, it just makes me sick to think of you in a similar situation. Or anyone . . .

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  10. Awwww…what a shame! Wish you could find her now on Facebook and renew the friendship!

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  11. This was rather a sad story; but one that should be read more often than once. I hope someday you will meet again. I love that you were kind an loving with her and she with you.
    Blessings for this one~

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    1. She was my good friend. To this day, I'll never understand how such kind, wonderful people could be so universally hated. It still makes no sense.

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  12. I'm familiar with small town politics through my husband's family, which lived on Main Street Challis, Idaho, for decades. So much like a family, small towns, in good and bad ways. I'll bet Sally still remembers and cherishes your friendship.

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  13. Bullies are actually afraid of you. Lashing out is the only way they know how to handle the situation. Sometimes the best way to deal with them is stand your ground and show them that you are NOT leaving. Encouraging a bit of friendship while standing your ground helps.

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    1. Such a complex issue for kids to try to handle. And yet, it's often kids who are expected to . . .

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  14. That poor family. People are judged everyday over the dumbest things.

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  15. It seems sad that one little mistake has a whole town hating. Why couldn't they just work it out? I wonder if the Reverend knew just what it was he'd done to get off on the wrong foot? Possibly an apology is all that was needed.
    I'm glad you were Sally's friend. I've befriended kids who were shunned by others, simply because I could see no reason for shunning and the kids were always nice.

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    1. Exactly! A little face time could have changed everything! You were obviously a good friend. I'm not surprised!

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