Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Geezer in the Gazebo

My Husby loves the movie, “The Sound of Music”.
In fact, if favourites were discussed, that title would probably be the first to come up.
Most particularly, he loves the gazebo scene.
And its accompanying song, “Sixteen Going on Seventeen”.
Really loves it.
To the point that, if ever a gazebo is sighted, he has to run inside and sing.
Badly.
Really badly.
Badly on purpose.
Just to embarrass his kids.
He's very, very good at it.
Inevitably, after he has run joyfully to the gazebo and danced around inside for a few minutes, singing at the top of his lungs, his children have disappeared.
Totally.
Completely.
You thought children could disappear quickly in a shopping mall?
That doesn't even come close to how quickly they can vanish when their father-figure is embarrassing them.
Suddenly they have, quite literally, ceased to exist.
And they only reappear some time later.
When anyone – anyone – who might have witnessed their father's performance has defected and/or suffered an aneurysm.
As my Husby has aged, the suitability of the words of the famous song have . . . lessened.
With his usual creativity, he has managed to 'age' the words to suit.
Both parts.
Because you never know when some old lady will want to sing along . . .

[him]
You wait, old girl, on an empty stage
For fate to turn the light off
Your life, old girl, is a filled up page
About which you should not scoff.

Should not scoff.

You are sixty, going on seventy
Baby it's time to think
Better beware, be canny and careful
It's hard to be old, I think.

You are sixty, going on seventy
Old goats will get in line;
Eager old cads and nimble old dads
Will be wanting all of your time.

Totally unprepared are you
To face the world of time.
Timid and shy and scared are you
Of geritol and lime.

You need someone older and wiser
Telling you what to do!
I am seventy going on eighty -
I'll take care of you.

[her]
I am sixty going on seventy
I know that I'm naive
Old goats I meet may tell me I'm sweet
And willingly I believe.

I am sixty going on seventy
Beautiful as a rose
Widower dandies, wheelchair bandies
What do I want with those?

Totally unprepared am I
To take a man again.
Timid and shy and scared am I
Of geezers who call themselves men!

I need someone older and wiser
Telling me what to do.
You are seventy going on eighty,
I'll depend on you!

*  *  *

A word?
If you're walking with us out in public and a gazebo appears in the distance?
Distance yourself.

15 comments:

  1. The Sound of Music is one of my favorites too, and I love the new words your hubby wrote! We have a gazebo in our backyard - he's welcome to perform there anytime!

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  2. You have to get that on video.........inquiring minds want to know.

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    1. Hmm . . . And now that I have video capabilities on my phone . . .

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  3. I would love to see that performance! Disappear? I wouldn't!

    And just for the record, you DO sing the lady's part, don't you?

    Sigh. I SO WANT to see this!

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  4. Nooooooo.....now I'll have that dratted song in my head all night! :)

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  5. Oh! Cringe! I hate that song and that scene. Whenever it comes to that part of the movie, I'm in the kitchen making coffee and snacks. I haven't watched The Sound of Music for several years now and was thinking I might give it one more run soon, but you've changed my mind.

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  6. I can see why you love this man. :-)

    Pearl

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  7. Hubby used to take songs from our day and change the wording about silly things. The other day this came up in conversation with our 22 year old daughter. When she mentioned that it was originally an old rock song, she immediately looked shocked. You mean daddy didn't make up all those songs?!? I just laughed and said what about my song, the one he always sung to me. I said it's a really old song called "The Rose" and laughed that she thought he'd mads up all the music and such. She got teary eyed and decided she was traumatized! Pregnancy hormones are ragely around here!

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    Replies
    1. Bwahahaha! Poor girl! But good for your Husby that he was so clever and convincing! :)

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    2. She's definitely my guilable one! You may have read my Book Smarts vs. Street Smarts...yeah that's her.sigh.

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