Cowlights

One of a series of cartoons from the
'What I Saw at the Calgary Stampede' collection
By Calgary Herald cartoonist, Stewart Cameron

Cows.

I know you’ve seen them.

Quietly standing in the ranchers’ fields, peacefully grazing or happily chewing their cud.

Gentle. Calm. Maternal.

Okay, here is where I debunk the myth.

Because – and I know this will be shock to some – All Cows Are Not Created Equal.

Oh, there are many who are exactly as they appear. Tranquil. Easily managed.

But then there are some . . .

Maybe a story will illustrate.

My grandfather, George Stringam, and a group of men had gathered together a herd of cattle for shipping. These animals were from several different herds. None knew each other. (Yes, cows can tell.) And all were ‘feeling their oats’.

So to speak.

They had chased each other around the pens and corrals of the train terminal and finally managed to break down one of the fences.

Oops. I think Bossy did it!

Moving on . . .

One of the critters managed to escape through the newly-created exit.

And she was headed for the nearest far-away place and didn’t care who knew.

By this time, it was growing dark and all of the men were using lanterns to help them see to sort out the mess.

One of the ranchers, intent on stopping this determined animal stepped in front of her.

Yes, you heard that correctly.

His thinking was that if he swung the lantern in front of her, the cow would just naturally turn and head back to the corral.

Seems like a sound theory to me.

Of course it didn’t work.

The cow skimmed past him.

Closely.

In fact, so closely that one of her horns snagged said lantern.

The last they saw of her was a light going over a distant hill.

Do the words, “Follow me! I’ll light the way!” come to mind?

Don’t do it.