Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Cause Blonde is Better

See? Blonde.
My Father-in-Law (hereinafter known as FIL) did not like blondes.
And my Mother-in-Law hated beards.
These two statements go together.
Just give me a moment . . .
So . . . back to my FIL.
No one knew why he did not like blondes.
And they did ask.
“Dad! Were you dumped by a blonde?”
“Dad! Did some blonde do something horrible?”
“Dad! Could I borrow twenty bucks?” Oh, wait, that has nothing to do with this.
Back to my story . . .
He passed away without ever sharing the reasons for his aversion.
But his family knew it well.
Whenever one of his five sons asked to borrow the car for a date, the first question was, invariably, “She’s not a blonde, is she?”
To which the invariable answer was, “Oh, no, Dad! She’s not a blonde! Definitely not a blonde!”
Even if she was.
The keys would be produced.
The date embarked upon.
All was well.
Yep. FIL’s aversion was well known.
Sometimes a little too well known.
His wife had an aversion as well.
To facial hair.
Here it comes . . .
If her husband ever suggested that he was considering growing a beard, she had the perfect answer.
“I’ll dye my hair blonde!”
Even the remote possibility of beard growing disappeared instantly.
Genius.
In his later years, he did make allowances.
I mean, he personally picked me for his son, and I had the white-blonde hair only found in people of Swedish heritage (like me) or points north.
And, in fact, two of his sons married blondes.
Call it parental opposition.
But the mystery remains.
The only other statement we ever heard from him concerning blondes was, “You know why blondes have more fun, don’t you? Because they get dirty quicker!”
Hmm . . . was that a hint?

6 comments:

  1. I remember Ray and his aversion to blondes. You know, most of the girls I dated were brunettes. Married one. Did date a couple of blondes. Got somewhat serious with one but it wasn't meant to be.

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  2. How bizarre! It's a shame you never got to the bottom of it all - but I'm glad you swept him off his feet enough to be his pick for his son x

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  3. I am glad he was ready to make exceptions.

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  4. Most of the women in my life that I have dated have been blond. It is not a conscious decision - I am not sure why! And I love having a beard :)

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  5. I'm thinking what EC's thinking - I'm glad your father-in-law was smart enough to pick you. By the way, have you ever written about that? Would you consider writing about that??

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  6. My husband doesn't like blondes either. We're all dark haired girls around here. I look like momma and my daughter looks just like be and Izzy looks just like us.

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