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| The Behemoth |
Big things.
They move.
I have proof.
On the ranch, we had a large power/light pole.
Full-sized.
Firmly planted.
It had been there since the beginning of time.
So . . . for quite a while.
It stood in the very center of the turn-about.
People driving in would go around it, conduct their business and complete the turn as they drove out.
Simple.
Unless you lived there.
Then you would have to drive in and park.
Preferably somewhere out of the way so the next person would have a place to drive in and turn.
At times it got a little . . . tricky.
I lived there.
I had parked.
I needed to leave.
This entailed backing the van up, manoeuvring into the lane, then completing the turn to head out.
I should probably point out here that our van could quite easily have been described as a behemoth (good word!). It held 12 passengers.
Or two parents and six children, neatly spaced to avoid argument-age.
Well to try to avoid argument-age.
Well . . . never mind.
I loaded in the kids.
I sorted out the first argument.
I started the van.
I sorted out the second argument.
Good so far.
The third argument started.
I began to unknot that disagreement just as I stepped on the gas.
The van reversed, as it should.
Straight back.
All of us inside were concentrating on the ongoing conversation.
None of us (ie. me) noticed the pole directly behind the van.
Well, not until we (ie. me) smacked into it.
Oops.
I pulled ahead and got out to survey the damage.
The bumper had a lovely crease in it, bending it towards the van and forming a point that made it impossible to open the back door.
Double oops.
Later, when I showed my husband, he laughed, shook his head and simply sawed the top point off the dent. Just enough so the door would clear it.
But leaving the dent for all to see.
Sigh.
The conversation went like this . . .
Husby: "Honey, didn't you see the pole? The large one that has been standing in the center of the yard since forever?"
Me: "Ummm . . . I don't know how to answer that question."
Husby: "You did know about the pole, didn't you?"
Me: "Ummm . . . yes?"
Husby: "You did see it?"
Me: "Well, it was like this . . . I was backing out carefully . . ."
Husby: "Yes?"
Me: "And then . . . that nasty old pole just jumped behind me!"
Husby (with just the right amount of skepticism): "Jumped."
Me: "Yes."
Husby: "Right out of the ground."
Me (getting into my story): "Yes. It was the weirdest thing!"
Husby: "I'm going to go lie down."
True story.
P.S. Cuba, the country, has also been known to move. But that is another story.
Not that exact conversation, mind you, but Hubs and I have had many that ended the same way, with him going to lie down (usually after taking an aspirin or three).
ReplyDeleteMy late father in law was an insurance adjuster in the New York City area and he heard that "moving tree/pole/other object" story so many times. It's interesting knowing that this phenomenon happens in Canada, too. As for Cuba moving around....would love to read that one.
ReplyDeleteMore than one 'pole' or its equivalent has jumped out in front of me too. Tricky beasts.
ReplyDeleteIt can happen. That's why i made the kids learn in a van that was already all dented up, so it didn't matter.
ReplyDeleteTrees have also been known to jump right into the paths of oncoming cars. Most often when the driver has had 'one too many'.
ReplyDeleteI did this once with our family van but it wasn't nearly as big as your Behemoth. HOW DID YOU DRIVE THAT THING?!?
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of when I was driving up our very steep driveway in our old van and the brake line snapped. That God for the big tree that stopped us at the bottom.
ReplyDeletePoles tend to do that, when your attention is elsewhere. They're sneaky.
ReplyDelete