Shoed

 

Okay, yes, modern housing has reached the heights of ridiculous-ness. But, you know what? Things have been worse…

Years ago, a couple lived in a fine house in the countryside and were blessed with many children.

But one semi-average day, their lives were forever changed when a giant destroyed their beautiful home with a club.

And to add insult to injury he took the father/husband, who was a talented wood-cutter, as his prisoner.

I know what you’re thinking. Rude. Cause they weren’t bothering anyone with their quiet lives and 18 children.

But he did what he did and left the poor wife/mother with no home and lots mouths to feed.

Now he did leave something behind. A shoe. Strange, and can I just say: weird? Nevertheless, it’s true.

The shoe, being about size 1,000,000EEEEEE was the right size for a poor fatherless family of 19.

They added a roof, a couple of amenities like a window and doors. And a boatload of deodorizer.

And moved right in. I totally get their reasoning. Giant takes father/breadwinner. Family takes shoe. Completely equitable. Right?

Now other versions of this story suggest the mom had tyrannical tendencies. All those are simply not true.

She was kind and just and her children did all they could to contribute to the family fortunes.

One day, the eldest son and his eleven brothers decided it was their duty to rescue their father.

Armed with swords none of them knew how to use, they started off. Following in the Giant’s footsteps.

Let’s face it, the print of a 1,000,000EEEEEE shoe is definitely not going to be hard to follow.

Soon they came to a huge castle. (Because, why not?) The eldest brother banged on the front door.

A strange man with a big head answered. (I know, it’s an unkind description. It’s all I have…)

The young man demanded his father. The doorman nodded and took the young man to the dark dungeons.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? If it was this easy, why didn’t they do it months before?

The man with the big head (sorry, again) disappeared and the young man went alone into the dungeon.

There he found a great, sleeping dragon. What happened next was a direct result of dozing on duty.

The young man stabbed that sleeping dragon right through the heart. (Hands up all you who guessed it.)

The dragon died without a whimper and the young man moved on and, of course, found his father.

(This story practically writes itself, wouldn’t you say?) The young man returned with his father to his brothers.

You’re right. The siblings didn’t have much to do in this story. The eldest brother just needed company.

Meanwhile, a witch/confirmed Giant hater, stopped by the shoe. Over tea, she convinced the Mom to come a-giant-ing.

Not quite sure how. I guess the Mom was still a bit miffed over the whole destroyed-house-abducted-husband scenario.

The two of them started out, only to find said Giant sleeping in a field not far away.

Probably he needed the rest after crushing the hopes, dreams and dwelling of yet another family. Seeing a pattern here?

The witch, being very powerful, cursed him with corns and tender feet. (Because what could possibly be worse?)

When the giant awoke, he groaned in pain. (Anyone feeling sorry?) and thought of his uber-comfortable lost shoe.

A short time later, he found it. Because it’s rather hard to hide a 1,000,000EEEEEE shoe. Right?

Ignoring the large number of children fleeing and running for their very lives, he put it on.

I don’t know about you, but I always shake my shoes before donning in case there’s anything inside.

Something disgusting like spiders. Or crawly bugs. It never once occurred to me to check them for children.

Just then, the boys/dad arrived and started shooting at the giant with the bows and arrows they carried.

…?! The bows and arrows that haven’t been mentioned till right now. I guess we needed the surprise?

Wounded, the giant fell to the ground, where he was quickly and easily dispatched by Eldest Son’s aforementioned sword.

Father, Mother and children were reunited to the joy of all and began plans to re-think their housing.

Because, how on this green earth were they going to pry giant shoe off said corn-y giant foot?

And who would want to. Ewww. Nope. Their exciting new plans were for something a little more conventional.

The witch faded quietly/happily into the landscape, her own personal vendetta against the giant well and truly over.

Now you know the real story of the woman/children who lived in a shoe. You’re welcome . . .

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: each month one of the participating bloggers pick a number between 12 and 50. All bloggers taking part that month are then challenged to write using that exact number of words in their post either once or multiple times.

 

This month’s word count number is: 18

It was chosen by: Mimi of Messymimi’s Meanderings           

Check out these other participating blogs!

BakingIn ATornado

Messymimi’sMeanderings