Wednesday, June 15, 2022

Socked

 


You…and I…see a pile of socks…

I should probably mention that I am a bit of a ‘neat freak’ and have a penchant for all things ‘laundry’.

Oh, and Husby hates wearing socks.

On to my story…

Yesterday, I was collecting for the weekly ‘sock fund’, wherein all socks that have been worn, may have been worn, or simply find themselves unfortunately out of place are donated to the hamper.

Ready to be returned in (to quote ‘Q’ from James Bond) pristine order.

It’s a simple and satisfying operation.

I collect and launder and fold and return.

Husby wears.

What could possibly go wrong?

Stay with me…

I came to a pile of socks in the corner of the bedroom.

Now, you have to know that we’ve been here before. Husby is as protective of his sock stash as a middle-aged dragon would be of his gold and gems. Thus, my hesitation over simply grabbing the whole bunch and leaving.

Me: Which of these socks need to go to the laundry?

Him: None.

Me: But you can’t have this many pairs going at once…

Him: Yes, I can.

Me….

Him…

ME: But…

Him: Look. (holding up one pair) These are sturdy for working outside. (Drops it and picks up another) These are still sturdy, but less so, for working inside. (Moves to a third) These are long and fuzzy for warm tootsies when we are downstairs watching TV. (Fourth) These are a little more dressy for Sundays. (Fifth) And these are short for wearing with my sandals. I haven't worn any of them often enough to warrant washing.

Me: Are you sure you’re wearing the right socks now?

Him… (But with a look that should have burned a hole in said socks.)

Me: (Sighing as I turn away) Wearing socks with sandals is for nerds. And you have pairs especially saved for just that. That must make you a special kind of nerd.

Him…

Me: Yeah, I'm out. Nerd.

8 comments:

  1. Socks and sandals. Hmmm. Definitely nerd.

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  2. I'm not going to say it contributed to our divorce, exactly, but once I discovered my ex husband was double wearing his underpants, well...that pretty much sealed the deal. So yeah, it contributed. some things are just not negotiable.

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  3. Sounds like a man with a system and you're wise to tip-toe around it, so to speak. Laurie

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  4. "I haven't worn any of them often enough to warrant washing." What? Isn't once enough? Wear a pair of socks then put them in the hamper? Don't they collect sweat and dust and skin cells like any other intimate clothing? Also, I wear socks with sandals, have done so all my life.

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  5. I also am of the socks in sandals-tribe even to havnig toe-socks to wear with my string between the toes-sandals ;)

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  6. Just a note: Just having re-read Little house books, I wonder how we got from "a bath and fresh clothes every Saturday" to "fresh socks an undies every day"?

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  7. Heeheehee! My Sweetie does this with shirts.

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