Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Kitten Mittens

Okay, let me state right off the bat that I am rather ‘iffy’ about the whole ‘kittens wearing mittens’ thing.  I mean...doesn't that just sound rather dirty and disgusting? And unnecessary?

I know the kitties in my life would have a shred-fest if they were presented with a pair of mittens. Or lose them entirely. Kind of like kids and socks.

On with my story…
So when our story starts, those mitten-wearing kittens have, in fact lost their mittens. Okay, they were sad, certainly, but honestly, who did not see this coming?

Their mother is, justifiably put out. She probably made the mittens. And to have all three pairs disappear at once? My kitties only ever lost one mitten at a time. Truth.

I don’t know if I agree with the whole ‘no pie’ scenario, however. A more appropriate punishment would be to teach those little beggars to knit. Maybe they’d be more careful…

Soon afterward, the kittens found their mittens. Rejoice! I’m wondering, though, if it was they who found them? Or Mom. You know the adage: Nothing’s lost till Mom can’t find it!

And their reward? What else? Pie.
I approve.
A lot of kitties I know would jump through hoops for pie.
And if there’s ice cream atop it? Through hoops of fire.

There follows a lot of purring. Again, appropriate.
Mittens found. Mama happy. Anticipation of full tummies.
This is as close to a kitty paradise as those mischievous little monkeys can get!

But alas, in this story, all will not stay serene and happy.
And I don't quite understand this next part: they 
donned their mittens to eat their pie.
Donned their mittens.

Okay, I admit it—when pie is being offered, I ‘gird my loins’ so to speak. Gloves set aside and apron donned. That way, cherry filling to the elbows distresses no one.

Except me, who simply cannot lick my elbows. And, please believe me, I’ve tried.
But these three kittens put on their mittens before tackling their personal little slices of deliciousness.
Cretins.

The outcome is much what you would have expected. Pie-soiled mittens. Remorseful, contrite kittens.
And a mama who is out of threats.
No wonder all anyone can do is sigh.
Sigh.

But in a surprising twist, those three suddenly-resourceful kittens drag out the old wash board and scrub those mittens clean.
Their mother is surprised and pleased.
Undoubtedly, smiles and hugs follow.

But only briefly.
In what one can only assume is a bid to begin training said kittens in their future rat-hunting duties, Mama announces that she smells a rat.
Close by.

The story ends there, in a total cliffhanger.
My concern is this: Did they wear their mittens?
Did they soil them?
What punishments should Mama invent for that scenario?
Any thoughts?

For your entertainment, my version of The Three Little Kittens…
The three little kittens
Had no mittens
Because said mittens would have been ridiculous and a hindrance to everyday life.
The end.

The real poem (with apologies to MessyMimi because this part doesn’t follow the word count!):
Three little kittens,
They lost their mittens
And they began to cry,
Oh, mother dear,
We sadly fear
Our mittens we have lost.
What! Lost your mittens,
You naughty kittens!
Then you shall have no pie.
Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.
You shall have no pie.

The three little kittens,
They found their mittens,
And they began to cry,
Oh, mother dear,
See here, see here,
Our mittens we have found.
What! Found your mittens,
You darling kittens!
Then you shall have some pie.
Purr-rr, purr-rr, purr-rr,
You shall have some pie.

The three little kittens,
Put on their mittens,
And soon ate up the pie
Oh, mother dear,
We greatly fear
Our mittens we have soiled.
What! Soiled your mittens,
You naughty kittens!
Then they began to sigh,
Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.
They began to sigh.

The three little kittens,
They washed their mittens,
And hung them out to dry
Oh mother dear,
Look here, look here,
Our mittens we have washed.
What! Washed your mittens,
You're such good kittens.
I smell a rat close by!
Hush! Hush! Hush! Hush!
Hush! Hush! Hush!
I smell a rat close by.

Today’s post is a word challenge! 
Each month Karen, Mim or I choose a number between 12 and 50 and the others craft a post using that number of words one or multiple times.
This month’s number is: 31
It was chosen by Mimi of Messymimi's Meanderings!

Now go and see what my friends have created!

5 comments:

  1. I'm so glad the story (both the original and yours) ended on a cliffhanger, because the whole rat situation is probably best left unsaid.

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  2. Yes, come to think of it, that is a strange cliffhanger. Would the rat be possible dinner for these felines or a more sinister character? Alas, we'll never know...

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  3. How could kittens raised on pie even be convinced that they should be hunting rats instead? Poor mothering, I say!

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  4. No worries, the poem doesn't count for the word count in my opinion.

    Anyway, I agree it's all a most silly way to conduct business, um, er, raise kittens.

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