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| Okay, yes, this is me. But that is a genuine 4-H calf behind me. See that head? Solid bone. |
Have I ever mentioned
that cows have a head comprised mostly of bone?
Seriously.
Their head is 99 % bone.
With a tiny little space
for a walnut-sized brain.
Okay, well, that’s my
theory and I’m sticking to it.
Their head can go through
most anything.
Fences.
Doors.
Walls.
People.
You get them running and
I swear they could go through solid concrete.
And laugh about it with
their friends later.
That head is a force to
contend with.
You get upwards of 2000
pounds of hair and hoofs going.
With a battering ram for
a head.
And anything is possible.
And we puny little humans
have to deal with these animals.
On a daily basis.
You want to talk about
bravery?
True statistic: Dairy
bulls kill more people annually than the grizzly bear.
Mind you, Dairy bulls
usually have sharp, pointy things on that solid-bone head.
How can we make the
situation just a bit more dangerous?
Put sharp, pointy things
on it.
Where was I?
Oh yes.
Cow heads.
And puny humans.
On to my story . . .
Every fall, the eldest
siblings in the Stringam household would happily show up for the organizational
meeting of the Milk River 4-H Beef Club.
It was a highlight of the
year.
They would then go out to
the corral with Dad and choose a suitable calf to register in said club.
Then the work started.
I should remind you here,
that I never really got involved in the whole ‘work’ part of the scenario.
That’s what brothers are
for.
Moving on . . .
My oldest sister, Chris
was a lot more ‘hands-on’ than her younger sibling.
So to speak.
But I am getting ahead of myself.
Ahem . . .
So to speak.
But I am getting ahead of myself.
Ahem . . .
She would go out and wash
her calf.
Talk to it.
Put a halter on it and
attempt to drag it around.
It was while attempting
this last that she came to grief.
And pain.
Chris had been trying to train
her calf (And I use this term lightly.
Something the animal wasn’t.) to lead.
An important skill when
you plan to have the animal in a show ring.
The calf wasn’t
cooperating.
Chris pulled and pushed.
The calf also pulled and
pushed.
In the opposite
direction.
Chris became frustrated.
In an attempt to get the
animal’s attention, she shaped her hand into the patented, TV-approved karate hold
and . . . chopped.
Remember what I said
about solid bone?
That would apply here.
You’ve heard the caution:
Professional karate chopper. Do not attempt this at home.
Or something similar.
Well, such warnings
should be heeded.
Chris heard the
satisfying *crunch* of bone.
For a brief (very brief)
moment, she thought, ‘Ha! Got you!’
Then the pain started.
Chris spent the next
weeks in a cast to her elbow.
Cursing the thick-headedness
of cattle in general.
And her 4-H calf in
particular.
We thought it was funny.
We never let her know,
though.
Because ironically, though
that hand, cast-less, couldn’t make much of a dent in a solid bone calf head,
that same hand, cast-ed, was a weapon of world class destruction.
Just FYI.
Hubs paternal grandfather was killed by a bull. Squished between said bull and a fence. Not a nice way to go.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that. Deaths by bull aren't nearly as well broadcast as those by Grizzly bear. But there are lots more of them. All sad.
DeleteI remember when Chris had her calves in the milk stantions attempting to wash them. The hired mad came in and told her that she couldn't use the stantions because the floorboards were getting slippery thus making it impossible for the cows to be able to stand whilst milking them. He then removed the hose, picked up the bucket and carried them outside to the hydrant beside the hog pen. That's the first time I ever saw Chris throw a teenaged tantrum; it was funny.
ReplyDeleteI was there for the whole thing. He was such a jerk! Chris kicked him in the behind. But that's another blog . . .
Delete:-) I love how you tell a story!
ReplyDeletePearl
And I love that you love it! :)
DeleteWell Diane, I seriously see I was raised in the city... lol... I never would have made it out alive in the country... hahaha
ReplyDeleteI often wonder how any of us made it out alive!
DeleteDiane, I wonder if Chris would have used her "cast-ed" hand to karate chop any of you if she had found out! I had no idea that cow heads were so tough. If you ask me, anyone working with these ladies is brave indeed! :)
ReplyDeleteTruth to tell, she did threaten us with it. My little brother was just reminiscing about how he got 'tapped' in the head because he told her she wasn't the boss of him! :)
DeleteOh, your poor sister!
ReplyDeleteI swear, we vow that "this is our last year!" every year when we are trying to get one lazy son to go out and train his steer! We had a good laugh a couple of days ago though...
Colten has only gone out and washed his steer a couple of times since school got out, but he takes it and puts it in the chute to wash it. A couple of days ago they turned the steers out into the pasture for a few hours and Brian comes in and tells me to look out the window. I looked out and there was Colten's steer, standing in the chute. He went in all by himself. We got a good laugh out of it and told Colten he needed to get out there cause his baby wanted a bath.
Now, is that trained or what!? ha ha
That IS trained. And totally hilarious! You've obviously got smarter cattle than we do . . .
ReplyDeleteOh boy.
ReplyDeleteI would never do that and I'd also be watching the hooves lol
Danger at either end!
Delete