Monday, June 9, 2014

Death By Toddler!

Oh, she only looks innocent...
The soft cascade of warm water and sweet-smelling soap caresses the aged body, following every curve.
And bulge.
Problems and irritations disappear down the drain with the water as total relaxation is, finally, achieved.
The warm water continues.
A state of near-bliss is achieved.
Ahhh . . .
Cue: Sharp strings played in a tight Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee!
The shower curtain is pulled back abruptly.
The shower-er spins about with a startled gasp.
A shadowy figure sticks its head into the cubicle.
“Hey! Gramma! What’cha doing?!”
And ‘Gramma’ collapses and dies of a heart attack.
Okay, it doesn’t quite have the punch of the original Psycho. But the death is just as real.
And permanent.
Death by Toddler!
Coming soon to a shower near you.
Rated: ‘T’ for Toddler. There is no stronger rating…
P.S. No skin was shown in the making of this experience.
None.
Absolutely none.
The world simply isn’t ready for that.

28 comments:

  1. Yes those beautiful big eyes are TERRIFYING!

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  2. A few months ago I took the 4 year old granddaughter for 3 days while my oldest and her husband when to a conference. 24 hours a day. I was ready for a wheelchair by the end. Great fun, but lord do they have energy.

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  3. She looks to me like she's planning..scheming.... oh I don't like the looks of this lol.

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  4. It's always the innocent looking ones ... :)

    What a sweetie!

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  5. OMG this is a LOL one for sure! I have so been there.
    Blessings for the laugh today; I needed one.

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  6. Hahaha! Trust a toddler. Or don't, actually. :)

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  7. When we visit our daughter & family soon, I am supposed to go swimming with our 2 yr. old gr-son. the bathing suit is unforgiving.

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    1. Yikes! Hmmm . . . maybe I should wear a suit...in the shower! :)

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  8. She is a cutie but also reminds me of a certain toddler I know well. I think it is a conspiracy ! Great post.

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  9. I am so ready for this...not in my shower though!

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  10. So much for that relaxing, soothing, private bath. Gotta love such a toddler though!

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  11. Silence is golden. Unless you're a toddler, in which case silence is very, very suspicious...

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  12. she is so cute! they are misleading with their big eyes and cuteness!

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  13. Kids will never know the beauty of personal space and boundaries!

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  14. Ha! Ya got me! Oh, poor toddler! LOL!

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  15. So funny....the same can be applied to moms, haha!! No shower privacy!

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