Sunday, April 29, 2018

Full Contact Art


Chalk dust can provide an astonishing medium for creating art.
True story.
Maybe I should explain . . .
The years of formal education were finally behind Shayne.
His dream of teaching art to children was being realized.
And his group of avid eight-year-olds were loving today’s assignment.
The “Go-to-the-front-of-the-room-and-strike-a-pose-so-the-rest-of-the-class-can-sketch-you” assignment.
One by one, the students were moving to the front of the class, striking a—to them—classic pose.
And being sketched.
One shy young man was holding back. But it was obvious to his attentive teacher that he desperately wanted to participate.
Shayne called the boy up.
He came. Slowly. Then, said quietly to his teacher, “I don’t know what to do!”
Shayne smiled. “How about I do a pose and you react to it!”
“Okay.”
I should probably mention, here, that Shayne is not a martial arts expert.
And his student already had several years of training under his belt.
So to speak.
Which will be evident shortly . . .
Shayne struck an ‘as seen on TV’ karate move.
To which the boy reacted.
Spinning around, the boy laid out a level back kick.
Which caught his teacher directly in the groin.
Knocking him both to the floor and out of the exercise in one move.
The class went silent.
Perhaps they were wondering which figure they should sketch.
The young boy who had just executed (I use that word deliberately) a perfect back kick.
Or the teacher crumpled into a heap on the floor and moaning in pain.
Ahem . . .
Shayne climbed back to his feet and gingerly continued the class.
Remember when I mentioned the chalk dust?
Well, that comes into the story here.
Only later did Shayne discover that the student’s perfect back kick had been faultlessly etched for all time—or at least till laundry day—in the front of Shayne’s trousers. Right at the point of contact.
Full contact art.
Probably not coming to a classroom near you.

3 comments:

  1. That did not go AT ALL where I expected from the title!! Okay, the picture also led me to believe you were headed in a different direction :)

    Poor Shayne. Owwwwww. Maybe "react" was the wrong term to use . . .

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hopefully NOT coming to a classroom near me.

    ReplyDelete

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