Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Navigating by Nose

Navigate this!
(Taken from Blarney Castle. Just after I kissed the famous stone.)
In Canada, we have The Dominion Land Survey.
And my husband has 'iron boogers'. 
These two are connected.
Maybe I should explain . . .
First:
My husband's favourite program on TV was the Tim Allen show, Home Improvement.
In one episode, Neighbour Wilson told Tim that men are actually endowed with minute bits of metal in their noses that aid in navigation.
Tim, putting his twist on it, called them 'iron boogers'.
A term that my husby whole-heartedly embraced and endorsed.
Then:
When Canada was first being mapped/documented, it was divided into a perfect grid.
Or maybe an imperfect grid, but a grid, just the same.
We were raised in an area where the roads were straight and regular and one mile apart.
If one road was blocked, you could find 113 other ways to get where you wanted to go.
It was a perfect system.
People growing up in that environment developed an unerring sense of direction.
Thus, my husby.
See the connection?
Moving on . . .
We were traveling in Ireland.
Have you ever heard it said that there is no green quite like the green of the Emerald Isle?
It's true.
But I digress . . .
We had just driven into town and were looking for our bed and breakfast.
Our map only covered the specifics of reaching said town, not the particulars of what to do when we got there.
There was a woman walking down the street.
Grant pulled over and we asked her how to reach Thus-and-So Bed and Breakfast.
These are her exact words, "Oh that one. It's rather difficult to describe. You need to go up that hill (pointing) and turn right. There is a hotel there and they can direct you further."
We thanked her and did as she directed.
Except for the 'turn right' part.
My husby turned left.
At which time, I gave up.
He drove around for a total of thirty seconds, then pulled over to the side of the street. "Why don't we just stop here?" he said.
I looked out of the window and gasped.
Thus-and-So B&B. Right there.
In front of us.
I turned to stare at him.
He merely tapped his nose and looked at me significantly.
From then on, I used the map merely to get us to the next town, then tossed it into the back seat.
Grant was much better at finding our destination when he wasn't hampered by such distractions as maps.
Old Iron Boogers.
Old Iron Boogers.

4 comments:

  1. I have the same thing, only opposite (yes, I know that doesn't make sense). Any time I'd say which way I thought we should go, Hubs would go the opposite and we always ended up where we wanted to be.

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  2. I'm chuckling at both your post and at Karen's comment!! I have no sense of direction at all. At the dental office I still don't know which way to go in order to leave, when I stand up from the reclining chair. It's pathetic. I'm not sure I would want iron boogers, though ... sounds painful :)

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  3. My Dad had the same ability but he said he was 'part homing pigeon'.

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  4. Heeheehee! Mostly i know what direction i am heading and get where i need to, but my poor Bigger Girl says of herself, "Mom, I could get lost in a shoebox!" and indeed, she could.

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