Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Goldi-Locked

 


She was supposed to be weeding the garden. But the warm afternoon sun beckoned and, let’s face it, she had a short attention span. So Goldilocks dropped hoe, dusted hands, and went exploring.

Okay, so it’s not like she was strictly ‘forbidden’ said activity. It was more like an understood… erm… understanding that dire things could happen if she did so. And Little Goldie lacked discipline.

Deep into the forest that bordered her mother’s small patch of ground, Goldie walked. Enjoying the warm sunshine and the plethora (real word roughly meaning: lots) of birds, scurrying furry animals and insects.

And there, in the center (or as close as we can estimate without a yardstick) of those woods stood a tidy, little cottage. A cute little cottage. Owned by someone Goldie didn’t know.

Now that fact alone would have caused anyone else to either knock politely and await a response, or, at the very least, holler. And when either greeting failed to raise a resident—leave.

Remember where I said Goldie lacked discipline? Turns out she also lacked common courtesy. And basic manners. Because though she did knock, perfunctorily, she didn’t await a response, but simply walked right in.

Now, this little cottage wasn’t owned by just anyone. Nope. The three names on the title (they are still there if you’d care to look) were Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear.

Of course some time has passed since the happenings penned here, so Baby Bear is no longer a baby, but an enormous fully grown Papa himself. With a large family of his own.

But for our purposes, we’ll stick to the timeline wherein these things actually took place. Sooo… Goldilocks. Cottage. Lack of courtesy. Trespassing. I think that takes us all where we need to go.

The first thing she noticed in the tidy kitchen that opened directly off of the back door were three steaming bowls of porridge. Well—one steaming. And two in varied stages of cooling-off-ed-ness.

It was at that moment Goldilocks realized she hadn’t eaten in some time. Since breakfast, in fact. Her stomach and several attached and/or dependent systems suddenly reminded her with a low growl.

And just like that, she decided that a bowl of yummy porridge in the hand was worth any number of distant and possibly uninteresting lunches at home. No matter who it belonged to.

She found a spoon and tasted the first—largest—bowl. “Yow!” she wailed. “Too hot!” Okay, yes, the steam should have been a dead give-away. It suggests a distinct lack of observation skills.

She moved to the second-biggest bowl. “Ugh. Too cold.” Say what you will about Goldilocks—though her talent for observation may be lacking, this girl is an authority when it comes to porridge.

And she doesn’t give up easily. By the time we had reached the third bowl, many of us would have thrown in the spoon. But Goldie remained undeterred by her two appetite-curbing failures.

Still tingling with enthusiasm—and/or hunger—she dove in. And was correct (if not right) by so doing. The third bowl, though the smallest, was perfect in both temperature and content! Trés yummy!

In no time, the porridge was gone. And Goldie was needing a spot to sit and rest her weary—though distinctly dishonest—bones. A chair was indicated. Remarkably, there were three on offer.

One too hard. One too soft. And one just right. But surprisingly poorly constructed. Or at least that’s what Goldie told herself when the whole da…darn thing collapsed into a heap of splinters.

Now urgently needing a place to recover from the shock of becoming subject to the foibles of shoddy construction practices, Goldie sought out the bedroom. And the three tidy beds she found therein.

Again a short-term dilemma. Too hard. Too soft. Just right. Goldie sank into the comfy mattress and immediately was lost in the arms of Morpheus. A fictional character. Unlike Goldie who is…never mind.

While she slumbered, the aforementioned cottage owners returned from wherever they had gone. They noticed immediately that something was amiss. Let’s face it, what Goldie lacked in manners…she also lacked in neatness.

First they spotted the empty bowl. Then the shattered chair. Yes, you’re right. Pretty hard to miss. And finally, they came upon the culprit, soundly and rosily asleep in Baby Bear’s little bed.

It was at that moment Goldilocks woke up. “Three bears!” she screamed. Leaping up, she again showed her lack of societal training and manners by simply running past them and out the door.

Papa, Mama and Baby bear looked at each other. What had just happened? Not only were they the victims of a home invasion, they had been made to feel distinctly labeled and typecast.

Mama Bear looked out the window as the golden-haired (thus, her name) eater of porridge, breaker of chairs and sleeper of beds disappeared into the woods. She sighed and turned to her family.

“I feel distinctly labeled and typecast(!),” she said. Baby Bear nodded, “And I feel violated. I’m the one who lost my breakfast and my place to sit. And should probably wash my sheets.”

Papa Bear put a fatherly hand on Baby Bear’s shoulder. “So what do we learn from this, son?” Baby Bear frowned. “Even though we live in Canada, we should learn to lock doors?”

Word Counters is a monthly word challenge.
Participants choose a number.
And the rest of us stick to it.
Sound fun?
Join us!
'Word Counters' was brought to you this month by the number: 33 
Our good friend Mimi of Messymimi's Meanderings is also participating!

16 comments:

  1. Lock your doors AND close your borders?
    Your stories are always so much fun!

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  2. Poor bears. It's nice to hear this story from the bears' point of view. I remember wondering why Goldilock just walked in etc. and last but not least, how she so un-worrying could fall asleep in a strangers bed. Now you solved this childhood mystery. :)

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  3. So adorable! Have always loved that fable and glad to finally get the bears' perspective!

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    Replies
    1. They do play an important part, you have to admit. Sad they've been left out of the conversation for so long! ;)

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  4. Smiling. And the rude thief got away with it...

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    Replies
    1. And what did little Goldie learn? Apparently, nothing. Sigh.

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  5. Loved this fractured fairy tale. Yes, no one thinks of how the bears felt.

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  6. Believe it or not I have been seeing the numbers 333 for months now...so #33 is definitely of interest to me as well!!!

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  7. I have to admit, i like the bears best.

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    Replies
    1. Me, too. I have a picture of Goldie and the three bears in my front hallway. First thing you see when you walk in. And all I can think is: What a rude little girl! ;)

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