Thursday, April 28, 2022

Whistle-Blower

Watch it!
You didn’t break rules in our house.
You’ve heard of that tiny, small voice that whispers correction?
Well, it lived here.
And it wasn’t that small.
Maybe I should explain . . .
Our granddaughter, aged 22 months, and her mother lived with us.
Granddaughter was tall for her age.
Strong.
Hazel-eyed.
Curly-haired.
And very, very excited about having things ‘just so’.
Doors left open must be shut.
In fact, if one was so foolish as to leave a cupboard door open, a small tornado would emerge from the bowels of the house to slam said door.
Even if one was still using it.
In the high heat of the summer, propping the front and back doors open for extra ventilation required permission, in triplicate, and a signed order by the Pope.
And many, many repetitions of “No, Sweetie, Gramma wants it left open!”
Sigh.
Bodily releases of tiny bits of air (ie: burps, sneezes, coughs, farts) though they were extremely funny, were to be immediately followed by a firmly-stated excuse-all.
Or a small, insistent person would appear at one’s elbow. “Say ‘scuse me, Grampa! ‘Scuse me!”
Preparation for mealtime prayer was to be strictly followed.
Even if one wasn’t technically in the room...The business portion of our kitchen/dining room was separated from the eating portion by an island.
If one was in said business portion when grace was being said, and no matter what one was doing there, that person was expected to participate.
“Gramma! Prayers! Fowd arms!”
One day, my daughter and I were bike-riding.
With a small person in the trailer behind daughter’s bike.
Something we did . . . often.
My daughter had, unthinkingly, done her hair on top of her head.
Totally unsuited to the actual wearing of a helmet.
She had then opted to leave her headgear at home.
Big mistake.
It was the longest ride of our lives.
Because every few seconds, a little voice from the rear called out, “Mama! Hemit!” or “Hemit, Mama!” or “Hemit! Hemit! Hemit!”
Ad infinitum.
The point of my story?
Be careful what you teach your kids.
They may hold you to it.

4 comments:

  1. At least these lessons were ones you would not be horrified to have revealed in public. Sadly so many of the things that children are taught come back to shame us...

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  2. Amazing the traits we're born with. Can't wait to find out what she became!

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  3. Living proof that more is caught than taught.

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  4. My children also has been "pestering" us with the same things. :) The bodily air ones have gotten laxer over time, same as the prayer thing. But it is really a good thing to teach them to wear a helmet. One of my sons had a lesson once. He saw a motorcyclist crash, get up and take off a totally smashed helmet. He got a piece and hung it in plain sight as an admonition to us all.

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