Conveniences, Modern

In 1848 or 9, 

The guys in charge thought it was time,

To close the place that represented

Everything that was invented.

“What need have we of patents, new?

There won’t be any more breakthroughs.”

“We’ll save some cash, if we close down,

The patent office in each town.”

Yes, they had electric power,

And indoor plumbing, bath and shower.

They’d bifocals and games of ball,

The clock, the telegraph and all.

But let’s see what we would have missed,

Had they done just what they wished,

In 1848 or 9,

Had they been allowed to draw the line.

The first dishwasher (of a kind),

In 1850 was designed,

And the wash machine to make clothes new?

Invented in the 50’s, too!

The vacuum came a little later,

The 1860’s. Ask its maker.

The clothespin and sewing machine,

Toilet paper, jelly beans.

The phonograph. The mason jar.

Kleenex or the chocolate bar.

And what would you, if you had known

Do without the telephone?

And airplanes and the ballpoint pen,

I’m sure you use them now and then.

Air conditioning. And jeans.

Earmuffs and most all machines.

There’s millions more that I could tell,

Like penicillin, solar cell.

I’ll put computers on the list,

And that is where I will desist.

We're glad that they did not succeed,

To close the patent place. Agreed?

With me, let’s raise a plastic cup,

Thankful someone shut them up.