Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



All of My Friends

A huge Thank You to everyone who entered the Goodreads Draw!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Daughter of Ishmael by Diane Stringam Tolley

Daughter of Ishmael

by Diane Stringam Tolley

Giveaway ends April 08, 2017.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

Saturday, May 5, 2012

What I Meant to Say Was . . .


I know you’ve done it.
I know I have.
Blurted out something that sounded a whole lot different in your head.
It’s true.
Your brain coughs up a thought.
And hits ‘send’.
Then, somehow, during transition, it gets . . . mixed up.
Maybe exposure to the air changes it.
And it ends up sounding like . . . nothing you intended.
My mom was a master at this.
Example one:
Picture Christmas Eve.
Every available surface in the kitchen groaning beneath seven layers of freshly-baked Christmas delicious-ness.
No supper in sight.
A starving son-in-law, passing the piles of goodies.
Hunger overcomes discretion.
He pops a butter tart into his mouth.
Mom, emerging from the point of action in front of the oven, red-faced and carrying yet another pan of treats, “Don’t eat that! It’s for Christmas!”
Example two:
Mom brings home the good peanut better.
Not the cheap stuff which comes in a tin, allowing all of the oil to rise to the top so that the upper layers are too creamy and the bottom layers need to be chiseled from the container with a hammer.
Then passed through the meat grinder to make them of a consistency to spread.
Which tin, I should mention, is still on the shelf.
Gathering dust.
Sooo . . . good peanut butter.
Which is immediately set upon by the ‘finickily-starved’ (I just made that up) peanut butter fiends that inhabit the house.
 “I’m going to stop buying that peanut butter. You kids just eat it!”
Mom taught her daughters well.
I, too have had my share of ‘things-said-that-didn’t-come-out-just-right’.
We were discussing a young man of our acquaintance who had been born with weak joints in his hips.
My mother-in-law was cautioning my kids not to jump off the retaining wall in her back garden, citing this young man as an example of ‘damage that could follow’.
I knew that his condition was genetic.
Or congenital.
Which mean the same thing.
What came out was, “Oh, but I thought his condition was genital!”
Something vastly different.
Wait. Everybody un-hear that!
Just let me suck those words back into my mouth!
Admit it.
It’s happened to you . . .

16 comments:

  1. I have done this on numerous occasions, I just laugh at it since there isn't much else I can do after the words are out of my mouth. Cute story:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true! I still haven't figured out how to suck those words back in!

      Delete
  2. lol everyone love peanut butter and jam in my house more than banana bran muffins

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So what sort of peanut butter did you buy?

      Delete
  3. I have a permanent case of "foot in mouth" disease.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't know WHAT you're talking about...
    *gazes around innocently*

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's happened to me! Unfortunatly for me in the presence of Luke. He will NEVER let me forget it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah. Brothers and brothers-in-law. Their memories are the longest of all!!!

      Delete
  6. Oh Diane! Thank you, as always, for the laugh! I just love your posts! I have to tell you about one that actually wasn't mine . . . I was sitting in a law school class taught by one of our deans. A wonderful, God-fearing man whom I admired greatly. We were about to start a new case, and, although the name of the plaintiff escapes me at the moment, it could, apparently, come out sounding like a very rude reference to the female anatomy when the professor was trying, with difficulty, to yell it out over several loud students who were not sitting down to let him start class on time and got tongue-tied. And, after a moment of incredibly shocked silence where every student was thinking, "Did I just hear that correctly?", he attempted it again and AGAIN said it wrong (and, sadly for him, profanely). To his credit, he (very red-faced) apologized profusely, said "Well, there's no coming back from that one" and dismissed class. God bless him. I felt so bad for him but had to laugh until I cried. Thanks for bringing back that memory! Smiles -

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I loved this story! How absolutely hilarious! Your poor professor! I think he was right. He would never be able to go on after that. Better to give everyone a breather! I just love stories like that. Just plain funny!

      Delete
  7. HIlarious! This is a bit like the time my mother was trying to learn the vegatables in Spanish with my MIL (who only speaks Spanish). Eggplant is "berenjena" in Spanish but for my mom it came out "vagina!" LOL! My MIL and her mother (an 88 year old with a great sense of humor!) couldn't stop laughing the rest of the day! Unfortunately my insert foot into mouth moments are not so funny, just plain embarrassing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bwahahahahaha!!! That is hilarious! And forever afterwards, all you have to do is START trying to say the word and everyone bursts out laughing! The best. The very best!!!

      Delete

Thank you for visiting! Drop by again!

Daughter of Ishmael

Daughter of Ishmael
Now available at Amazon.com and Chapters.ca and other fine bookstores.

Follow by Email

Ghost of the Overlook

Ghost of the Overlook
Need a fright?

Google+ Followers

Networked Blogs

My Granddaughter is Carrying on the Legacy!

My Granddaughter is Carrying on the Legacy!
New Tween Novel!

Gnome for Christmas

Gnome for Christmas
The newest in my Christmas Series

SnowMan

SnowMan
A heart warming story of love and sacrifice.

Translate

My novel, Carving Angels

My novel, Carving Angels
Read it! You know you want to!

My Second Novel: Kris Kringle's Magic

My Second Novel: Kris Kringle's Magic
What could be better than a second Christmas story?!

About the Mom

My photo

Diane was born and raised on one of the last of the great old Southern Alberta ranches. A way of life that is fast disappearing now. Through her memories and stories, she keeps it alive. And even, at times, accurate . . .

Join me on Maven

Connect with me on Maven

Essence

Essence
A scientist and his son struggle to keep their earth-shattering discovery out of the wrong hands.

Essence: A Second Dose

Essence: A Second Dose
Captured and imprisoned, a scientist and his son use their amazing discovery to foil evil plans.

Looking for a Great Read?

E-Books by Diane Stringam Tolley
Available from Smashwords.com

The Babysitter

The Babysitter
A baby-kidnapping ring has its eye on J'Aime and her tiny niece.

Melissa

Melissa
Haunted by her past, Melissa must carve a future. Without Cain.

Devon

Devon
Following tragedy, Devon retreats to the solitude of the prairie. Until a girl is dropped in his lap.

Pearl, Why You Little...

Pearl, Why You Little...
Everyone should spend a little time with Pearl!

The Marketing Mentress

The Marketing Mentress
Building solid relationships with podcast and LinkedIn marketing

Coffee Row

Coffee Row
My Big Brother's Stories

Better Blogger Network

Semper Fidelis

Semper Fidelis
I've been given an award!!!

The Liebster Award

The Liebster Award
My good friend and Amazing Blogger, Marcia of Menopausal Mother awarded me . . .

Irresistibly Sweet Award

Irresistibly Sweet Award
Delores, my good friend from The Feathered Nest, has nominated me!

Sunshine Award!!!

Sunshine Award!!!
My good friend Red from Oz has nominated me!!!

My very own Humorous Blogger Award From Delores at The Feathered Nest!

Be Courageous!


Grab and Add!

Search This Blog

Ghost of the Overlook

Ghost of the Overlook
Need a fright?