Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

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All of My Friends

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Best Thing About Holidays


People on holiday say the darndest things.
I'm sure that, in their real world, these people are well-adjusted and intelligent.
But, for some reason, when they leave home, they leave something else behind as well.
I've heard people say such gems as, “Excuse me, guide? How do you get all of the flags on the compound wall to fly in the same direction?”
And, “The sign says 'No Admittance'. Is that for you? Or us?”
And my personal favourite, “How much of these caves are actually underground?”
They make a great holiday just that much more entertaining.
For example . . .
My Husby was at a conference in Washington D.C.
I went along.
Because.
When he wasn't attending meetings, we explored the city.
We were having a wonderful time.
On one free afternoon, we decided to take a tour of the White House.
With a large group of fellow tourists, we were directed to a relatively unimportant door somewhere in the rear of the building.
Then guided, in a orderly manner and under the constant scrutiny of a number of Secret Service agents, through the building.
The agents each looked very Secret Service-ish with dark glasses and an ear bud.
We felt as if we were in a movie.
The place was beautiful.
We saw state rooms and bed rooms.
Assembly halls and offices.
Dining rooms and ball rooms.
All were heavy with the feeling of History.
Our guide gave us a large dollop of it as she directed us from room to room.
My Husby is an historian.
We have spent our married life immersed in things historical.
We couldn't have been happier.
Finally, regretfully, our tour drew to a close.
We were led to the door under the famous portico and released to the outside world.
Immediately past the door was yet another secret service agent.
One of the guests hurried over to him.”Excuse me, agent?” she asked.
He turned toward her. “Yes, Ma'am?” he said in a colourless voice.
You know, I've always wondered what a colourless voice was.
Now I know.
It has absolutely no inflection.
Soo . . . no colour.
Just FYI.
Back to my story.
“Yes, Ma'am?”
“This door . . . where we are . . . that is the front of the White House, correct?”
“Yes, Ma'am.”
“So the other side. That would be the back, right?”
I admire these agents. They must have to take special training just to deal with the questions they may be asked at any given moment.
His face didn't even twitch. “Yes, Ma'am,” he said as soberly as if she had just asked him the time.
My Husby, on the other hand, was totally unprepared for her question.
He burst into laughter.
I quickly pulled him away to the lawn. “Hush!” I said.
Really. That's what I said.
But he wouldn't.
Hush, I mean.
Some people are so unruly.
“No, that would be the roof,” he whispered to me.
I started towing him across the lawn.
“No, wait. Maybe it's the basement!”
I towed harder.
“Pantry?”
We really did enjoy our trip to Washington.
The history.
And the tourists.

12 comments:

  1. That's so funny! I really need to travel more... reminds me of the time we were watching the fireworks just off the embankment of the road when a SUV drove up. It was obviously a "city" person vehicle. My husband and I started in on our usual chiding of "city" people saying to each things like... "We better put it in 4 wheel drive to get off this little hill!" and "We don't want to get high centered!" (We were in a mini van, by the way.) So as soon as the SUV pulled off the road along with a 2nd vehicle the occupants emerged and one driver said to the other, "Do you think we should have put it in 4 wheel drive?" We busted up laughing. We couldn't even hold it in because it was so funny. City people and tourists... must be cut from the same cloth. ha ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bwahahahaha! I've so been there!!! My Husby charitably calls them 'adorable little quirks'. That's what I'm going with . . .

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. That I would live to see the day!

      Delete
  3. lol that's funny. but some caves don't go underground. Do they all go underground? lol
    Some go inter mountain or inter brain. Are black holes caves in the universe?
    You have some blogger friends who are out there lol
    Yes. You walk among us lol
    I love old history. It does make you feel funny to feel all this old energy around you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You make a good point. I hadn't considered b lack holes. I had considered inter-brain, however. :)

      Delete
  4. Yes, some people leave their brains on the kitchen table when they're packing up their stuff for vacation. I think they also forget where they left them when they come back...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahh, yes. The all-important re-insertion of the post holiday brain. Painful. Tedious. Sigh. Why do it at all?!

      Delete
  5. Just consider that poor secret service man who also overheard your husband (as he surely did). Although his voice was colorless, his insides were shaking like cranberry preserves, as your husband continued talking for the tourist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when those men and women get together to discuss their day. Oh, the stories they could tell!

      Delete
  6. Tourists can be so funny... I hope I act better when I get to be a tourist:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You will! At least better than we do!

      Delete

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