Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Sunday, March 23, 2014

Driving With Karen Caution


The Behemoth
Things move.
Big things.
They move.
I have proof.
On the ranch, we had a large power pole.
Full sized.
Firmly planted.
It had been there since the beginning of time.
So . . . for quite a while.
It stood in the very center of the turn-about.
People driving in would go around it, conduct their business and complete the turn as they drove out.
Simple.
Unless you lived there.
Then you would have to drive in and park.
Preferably somewhere out of the way so the next person would have a place to drive in and turn.
At times it got a little . . . tricky.
I lived there.
I had parked.
I needed to leave.
This entailed backing the van up, maneuvering into the lane, then completing the turn to head out.
I should probably point out here that our van could quite easily have been described as a behemoth (good word!). It held 12 passengers.
Or two parents and six children, neatly spaced to avoid argument-age.
Well to try to avoid argument-age.
Well . . . never mind.
I loaded in the kids.
I sorted out the first argument.
I started the van.
I sorted out the second argument.
Good so far.
The third argument started.
I began to unknot that disagreement just as I stepped on the gas.
The van reversed, as it should.
Straight back.
All of us inside were concentrating on the ongoing conversation.
None of us (ie. me) noticed the pole directly behind the van.
Well, not until we (ie. me) smacked into it.
Oops.
I pulled ahead and got out to survey the damage.
The bumper had a lovely crease in it, bending it towards the van and forming a point that made it impossible to open the back door.
Double oops.
Later, when I showed my husband, he laughed, shook his head and simply sawed the top point off the dent. Just enough so the door would clear it.
But leaving the dent for all to see.
Sigh.
The conversation went like this . . .
Husby: "Honey, didn't you see the pole? The large one that has been standing in the center of the yard since forever?"
Me: "Ummm . . . I don't know how to answer that question."
Husby: "You did know about the pole, didn't you?"
Me: "Ummm . . . yes?"
Husby: "You did see it?"
Me: "Well, it was like this . . . I was backing out carefully . . ."
Husby: "Yes?"
Me: "And then . . . that nasty old pole just jumped behind me."
Husby (with just the right amount of skepticism): "Jumped."
Me: "Yes."
Husby: "Right out of the ground."
Me (getting into my story): "Yes. It was the weirdest thing!"
Husby: "I'm going to go lie down."
True story.
P.S. I also have an experience with Cuba, which has also been known to move. But that is another story.

10 comments:

  1. The joys of inanimate objects, they just jump out in front of you. We have troubles with the sign post in front of the shop at work. Time and again we have people come in seeking damages from their backing into the sign post, with the CAUTION sign on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I NEVER ran into that sign. At least not that I'm admitting . . .

      Delete
  2. LOL.

    I once backed a work van into one of those big in-the-yard propane tanks. The other workers laughed and laughed.

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's hang out. Let's just not drive anyhwere to do it . . .

      Delete
  3. So is this what happened with the tractor that was parked and no one was driving it and you were backing up the family car?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. You gotta watch them tractors!

      Delete
  4. If I was meant to back up a vehicle safely, I would have eyes in the back of my head!

    Nice ...er ... save ... by husby on the bent bumper. No, you're right, it wasn't :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I like how you think, Jenny! Hmm . . . eyes in the back of my head . . . I think we're on to something.

      Delete
  5. We have poles here in Australia that do the same thing.
    Police Officer: what happened here?
    Drunk driver: that pole just jumped right out in front of my car, oshifer..
    I like your Hubby sawing off the top of the dent but leaving the rest for all to see!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm . . . me and drunks . . . yeah, pretty much the same! :)
      Nothing like a little evidence to strengthen one's story!

      Delete

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