Friday, October 18, 2024
Of Wits and WITches
Friday, September 20, 2024
Lamb Dreaming
the lamb was sure to go.
It
followed her to school one day
which was against the rules.
It
made the children laugh and play,
to see a lamb at school.
And so the teacher turned it out,
but still it lingered near,
And
waited patiently about,
till Mary did appear.
“Why
does the lamb love Mary so?”
the eager children cry.
“Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know.”
the teacher did reply.
Okay, so…first off, as a child, I always wanted a lamb for a pet.
True story.
I just wanted to get that out there.
On with our poem…
The first lines say that Mary’s lamb had a fleece as white as snow.
Now I’ve seen lambs. And their fleeces are never that white. In point of fact, they are usually rather gray. Or downright mud-coloured.
Moving on…
The next part talks about that lamb following Mary everywhere.
I reiterate. I wanted a little lamb with soft fleece who would follow me everywhere.
Just sayin’.
Then we are to the part where that sparkling, clean lamb followed Mary to school. Now I could totally get behind this.
Lambs at school would definitely have made the days a little less…I don’t know…scholastic? And a lot more fun.
But, let’s face it, me having a lamb follow me to school would be no small feat as we lived 20 miles from town and rode the bus! He would either have to be a superbly nimble little creature or I would have to get a lot better at hiding things that weren’t supposed to be on a bus with 20 or so children aged 5 to 17.
I did make it all the way with a snake in my pocket once, but that is another story.
And I digress…
So this teacher, whoever she was, got tired of the chaos and turned that little lamb out.
Now what does she have against laughing, playing children?
Kill joy.
But that little lamb was not only sparkling clean, it was also smart. (We are talking fiction, here.) It hung around patiently until it was time for Mary to go home.
I’m picturing the joyous ramble as the two headed off to familiar pastures for the day.
Happy girl. Happy lamb.
Now the laughing, playing (see above) kids, witnessing this, had a question for their teacher. “Why does the lamb love Mary so?”
And the teacher had a ready response, “Because Mary loves the lamb, you know.”
Now, I probably don’t have to tell you that all of this was in my (Please, May I Have a Lamb?) presentation to my father.
But I’m quite sure you’ve heard of the sometimes animosity between the sheepherders and the cattle ranchers of the great prairies of the ‘west’.
And I don’t have to tell you which side my Daddy was on…
My chances of getting lamb for a pet were slim to nil.
But that didn’t stop me dreaming…
He even met the Queen!
She took him when she went to school
He sat there on the bus.
The children would politely play,
And never made a fuss.
The teacher understood that Di
Needed 'Lambie' near,
To help her with her algebra,
And chemistry. (The dear!)
The lambie loved Diane, you know,
The children saw that she
Also loved the little lamb
Up to the nth degree!
Sigh.
Friday, August 23, 2024
Wee Willy's Parenting Pointers
Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Rapping at the window, crying through the
lock,
“Are the children in their beds?
Now it’s eight o’clock.”
Okay. First off, who is this
‘Willie Winkie’ guy?
With his only two descriptors: wee
and in his nightgown, much is left to the imagination.
Allowing those of us with a large store
of it to come up with countless possibilities…
Let’s go with the obvious. Wee and
nightgown suggest to me that he is really small—perhaps a child?
And if so, how come he’s not in
bed. Hmmm?
That is like the person who hands the
priest a list of people who didn’t close their eyes or fold their hands reverently
during a prayer at church. This always begs the question: How did he make the
list?
But I digress…
We may also surmise by the whole ‘upstairs
and downstairs’ scenario that Willie is very mobile, which also suggests youth.
I know if it were up to me to run
upstairs and downstairs in my nightgown, exactly one household may be
alerted. The rest are on their own.
And, just for the record, I don’t even
appear out of my own bedroom in my nightgown. Also: as a senior,
I’m probably in bed long before the children.
So there’s that.
Now, the whole ‘rapping at the window’ part.
If anyone rapped at my window, it
would wake me from a coma.
So what window is Willie knocking
at? If it’s the children’s, I’m coming out with a baseball bat.
Just sayin’.
And the whole ‘calling through the
lock’? Okay, yes, the old locks were basically holes in the door. The modern
day lock is not in the least conducive to being called through. Or even
shouted.
Ever tried it?
You can take my word.
And if anyone is calling through
the hole in my door, I’m calling the cops.
And who does he think he is? Demanding
that the children be in their beds by 8 o’clock?
Isn’t that a rather negative
commentary on people’s parenting skills?
I mean, even a truant officer can
only pick on children during the daylight hours.
True story.
So, Wee Willie Winkie, if you’re
thinking of trying these games in the modern world, I can just see the outrage!
And the comments on whatever
Facebook ‘discussion’ page you currently peruse.
“Did anyone else record some small
dude in a dress running through your yard? My alarm system went off right
around 8 PM last night right in the middle of Desperate Housewives and this is what it caught:
[Follows: grainy and creepy night
video of someone flitting across the yard]
He was knocking on the windows and
shouting something unintelligible at the front door. Scared both my cat and my
kids so badly that I couldn’t get any back into bed. My camera didn’t get a clear
view of his face. Did anyone else have something similar happen?
Comments?”
Yep. I can picture it well.
I think poor Wee Willie needs a
modern-day do-over…
W. William Winkie [Ph.D/Psy.D/MFT/MFCC] works in the town,
Here on Nightgown Avenue; upstairs or down
Friday, July 19, 2024
Travels and Stories
A little bit of Florence |
Auntie Q holding her nephew! |
Eldest Grandson |
Third Granddaughter--my writer! |
Hanging Hearts Lake, Saskatchewan |
Annual Family Medieval Feast |
A little pilgrim girl... |
Peggy's Cove with my sister!!! |
Friday, June 21, 2024
Eensie Weensie
The eensy weensy* spider
climbed up the waterspout. On with the poem… Down came the rain Still
good. I like rain. And washed the spider out. Uh-oh. Here’s where the poem and I begin to come to odds. I mean, I can
totally sympathize with someone being washed out of their homes. Even spiders. Ahem… Out came the sun I like
sun, too. Sun soaked=Warm. Glorious. Happy. Who’s with me? And dried up all the rain Okay. A
normal and natural consequence. I use this principal of nature every day for
drying laundry. True story. And the eensie weensie spider
climbed up the spout again.
|
Friday, May 17, 2024
Away From Home
There, I've admitted it.
Yep. There's no cold quite like it.
Husby and me! |
Keukenhof- a must-see! |
Of course, being in Holland, we had to see windmills in Kinderdijk:
And museums: The Rijks Museum is beyond stupendous:
I want this library so much! |
Now THAT's a model! |
Nightwatch by Rembrandt. Just one of thousands! |
Of the 12,000 graves in this cemetery, only 4,000 were identified. The rest were 'Known Unto God'. I've never cried so much... |
Hill 62 Battlefield. Preserved just as it was. The divots and swales are from artillery blasts. And now "sheep may safely graze'. |
St. Julien Canadian Memorial |
David. So many works of art. So little time! |
And SO many people! |
When you start to look like your passport photo, it's time to go home. |