Thursday, January 21, 2021
To Smile is to...
Wednesday, January 20, 2021
Death by Toddler
Oh, she only looks innocent... |
Ahhh . . .
Tuesday, January 19, 2021
17 17's
With all the turmoil, I’m worried today. So how will I handle it? I will tell jokes…
You know, I think working in a mirror factory is totally
something I can see myself doing.
(I love this one!) I tried really, really hard to catch some
fog the other day. Mist.
Someone stole my Microsoft Office the other day and they are
gonna pay. You have my Word.
A Roman Legionnaire walks into a bar and hold up two fingers
and says, “Five beers, please.”
(Something I just read…) According to statistics, someone in
London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor beggar.
I had an event last week. I broke my finger. On the other
hand, I am okay!
Here’s something: You know, you are not completely useless.
You can always serve as a bad example.
How many Germans does it take to screw in lightbulbs? One.
They’re efficient and not very funny.
Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I
make. Then I’m ugly and poor.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion. He also has a
lifetime ban at the zoo.
Some horrible person went and stole my mood ring. I’m not sure
how I feel about that.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It is a real shame
they will never, ever meet.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a
parachute to go skydiving twice.
Yesterday, my wife accused me of being immature. I told her
to get out of my fort.
This just in: I threw a boomerang a few years ago. Now I
live in constant fear.
Just say NO to drugs! Well, if I’m talking to my drugs, I’ve
probably already said yes.
I told my wife that she was drawing her eyebrows too high. You
know, she looked surprised.
This month's number? 17!
Assigned by me!
Ready for more?
See what my fellow Word Counters have wrought!
Monday, January 18, 2021
My Hero
At
six, the first that I recall,
Was
in a book for children, small,
A
bear who loved his friends and life,
Caused
no pain or hurt or strife!
At
eight, I moved to Nancy Drew,
And
Hardy Boys, to name a few,
And Trixie
Beldon, Ames girls, wow!
Were
certainly the cat’s meow!
From
there my heroes came and went,
But
mostly had a ‘horsey’ bent,
Alex
and Black, and Flicka, Ken,
Sham
and Agba, read again.
Then
others picked by happenstance
Until
I found Gothic romance.
Filled
with love and hate. Desire,
They
set my teenaged heart on fire!
I
read the classics, heroes there
Who managed
on a hope. And prayer,
Each
time I read with heart agape,
Of
daring deeds and tight escapes.
I
read a lot and wrote a bit,
Had
many heroes I admit,
But
none were greater, none more fair,
Than
that first, stuffed and ‘small-brained’ bear.
‘Tis
sixty years since last I stood,
With
Pooh in ‘Hundred Acre Wood’,
I
know this day’s for him, the bear
Who
gave such gentle, reasoned care,
Two
things of many that he said,
They’re
part of me, stuck in my head,
If
you don’t mind, ‘cause you’re my friend,
Instead
of hugs, these words I’ll send:
“If
there’s…a day…we can’t be together,
Keep
me in your heart and I’ll stay there forever!”
“If you live to…a hundred, I want that, less one
day,
So I’m never without you whenever I play!”
Cause Mondays do get knocked a lot,