Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Honey For Sale


Perfect for each other.
My Mom had been raised on a ranch.
She knew cattle and could speak the language with anyone.
But there were times when she very much longed to change the conversation . . .
She and Dad were out with a group of friends.
Fellow Hereford breeders.
The conversation veered, as it always did, to the discussion of the newest miracle bull.
"That 55L! What a bull! Longest animal I've ever seen!"
An animal's length is important. More beef on the hoof.
Just FYI.
The men were enraptured.
The women, silent, polite listeners.
Mom tried to add some colour other than red and white to the conversation.
"We did something different this weekend," she said. "We went to a Gilbert and Sullivan . . ."
But the men's conversation continued unabated.
"You know, 55L was unknown until his calves hit the ground! Long. Tall. Big as colts!"
"We saw the Pirates of Penzance," Mom finished weakly.
No one heard her.
She sighed and withdrew.
But her mind was working busily.
A few days later, Mom again took a back seat to Dad's cows. Giving up on a much anticipated wedding because Dad couldn't go.
That was the last straw.
The next day, she decided to play a prank on him.
She called the local paper and had this ad inserted:
            HUSBAND FOR SALE - Cheap
            Complete with blue jeans, SSS monogrammed shirt,
            rubber boots, old floppy hat, B.S. spattered coveralls,
            pitch fork, scoop shovel, feed bucket,
            25 Hereford cows and one grumpy bull.
            Not home much.
            Speaks only COW. Call 244-2108
Then she waited.
Not a word was said, though she saw my father reading the paper and knew that he always finished every word.
The next day, another ad appeared, directly below Mom's.
This one read:
            HONEY FOR SALE
            The sweetest gal this side of Texas. Good mother,
            helpful, kind, patient, understanding, loving,
            cheerful, caring, cooperative, self-sacrificing,
            grateful for all favours, especially a frugal income,
            and as a bonus, is beautiful and loves
            my Hereford cows. Call 244-2108.
Enough said.

17 comments:

  1. What a pair they were....one dirty old farmer and his loving wife lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is adorable. You gotta love the language of people who have been married a long time and love each other so much. Beautiful story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They were a beautiful couple! Thanks, E!

      Delete
  3. Excellent! Speaking the language of husband and wife is often more difficult.

    55L?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It certainly was a language all their own! :)
      I never did quite understand my Dad's 'naming system'. The "L" was for the year. And the "55" was the number that was next in line when they were tagging. I think . . .
      I do know that "175" and I have a history.

      Delete
  4. Awww ... I am misting up, here ... I understand your mom's frustration, and I admire your dad's recognition of it, and his ... apology, I believe :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was definitely an apology! Or as close as she got . . . :)

      Delete
  5. Ahh. I do love a smart man.

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fighting fire with fire. So to speak!

      Delete
  6. Awwwwww! That is SO awesome! She had a keep there!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great post. Your Mom and Dad were very special. Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm wondering if they got any replies and how they handled them? Sorry already sold?
    Withdrawn from sale?
    At least your mum got your dad's attention!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mom never told me if they got any replies! Hmm . . . that would make a great short story! :)

      Delete
  9. LOL on this one! It was just perfectly said.
    Blessings for the laughs on this one~

    ReplyDelete

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