Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Sunday, December 18, 2011

Join the Army. Get an Education (3rd and Final)

A guest post by Erik Tolley

There are also some other trades that you could join, like the Military Police, Intelligence (I still can't get any answers as to why they call it that . . .), Logistics (nobody will tell me what they do, either . . .), Medics, Marching Band, Cook, etc.
Unfortunately, I've never seen anybody from these trades, so I can't elaborate on what they do.
Not that anyone in the Combat Arms does much, either.
After selecting your preferred trade, you will be given several pounds of forms to fill out, a medical examination (thank goodness the doctor didn't need a rubber glove), and an aptitude test.
This all finds out if you are in good health, or if  you need to come back when you look less like an overstuffed sofa, or if you can at least remove the overstuffed sofa from your fat butt so the doctor can finish the examination.
Now, when that's all over and done with, you will be told whether you qualify for your preferred trade or not.
If you do, you will be given another annoying pamphlet with an attractive picture and a catchy slogan, which will describe in detail what you will learn to do in Basic Training.
Here is a list of some of the things that it will tell you:
Marksmanship
Fieldcraft
Discipline
Nuclear, Biological and Chemical Defence
Rifle Drill
Navigation
First Aid
Rank Structure
Battlecraft
Communications
Everything Else

Strangely, this annoying pamphlet doesn't list many of the other things that you will learn while on your Basic Training course.
These other things are just as important to military life as the things listed above.
To correct this, I have added a few of my own ideas of what should be placed on future annoying pamphlets:
Swearing
Dirty Jokes
More Swearing
Female Anatomy
Male Anatomy
Alcohol Abuse
Vomiting
Washing Vomit Out of Your Clothing
Dragging Drunken Comrades Back to Base
Standing At Attention When You Blood Alcohol Content is 0.25
Scaring Civilians

Who says the Army isn't educational?

5 comments:

  1. Neither list sounds like much fun. I think I'll just keep the overstuffed couch stuck on my butt.

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol unfortunately what you say is true, both in and out of the army. Young people are depressed
    Its not like back in our time when it was easy to get a job.Someone always hired you. Job security existed. Here in BC
    We have many people going in to learn to become cooks and lots of jobs in that trade exist with very good pay.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Everything old is new again. It was like the stories from my brother and brother-in-law (Vietnam). The funny and the stuff you didn't mention. Good read. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "thank goodness the doctor didn't need a rubber glove"--oh my goodness, this just made me laugh out loud! Thank you for making me laugh on a cold, gloomy winter night! And for the record, I think Army pamphlets would be enhanced with your suggestions! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. When I applied I was told I did well on the entrance exam. Then I waited for an opening. You basically end up with whatever trade is available at the time, if you haven't been specific. I didn't pass my medical exam - I'm flat footed and had a severe case of bunions. I was referred to a retired military doctor at a hospital nearby and had both feet fixed within two weeks. Painful, hard to walk and very swollen - and it was winter. By summer there was a new position for me P.O.E.T. IE Tech. Ok. Off to boot camp. Only 3 female platoons to 12 male platoons. We did a lot of training with or brother platoon. As a brand new Mormon I found the profanity etc. a bit much, also the drinking on the weekends. Girls are not pretty when they are drunk. They behaved ridiculous but I loved them anyways. What an experience!

    After basic electronics training at CFB Kingston I was off to CFB Borden where it turned up I would be doing the electronic stuff on aircraft. Whoohoo, I was gong ot be Air Force! Like my parents. Trained on the no longer in use Tutor jets and then off to CFB Namao - Edmonton. I worked and trained further on the C130 Hercules "power horse" aircraft until my release. Loved it, no regrets! Thanks for the opportunity to relive my own military service Eric!

    ReplyDelete

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