The Difference Between Men and Women -or- My Most Embarrassing Moment

I know it's hard to tell, but there are differences . . .

My husby and I were just finishing supper.

The doorbell rang.

He went to answer it.

It was a good friend from our Drama Society, who needed to discuss . . . drama.

We sat down in the living room.

And discussed.

Then, as usually happened, the discussing turned to visiting.

But something about the visit was odd. He wouldn't look at me.

I should point out that this was a man that both my husby and I had been good friends with for over fifteen years.

We had spent many, many hours together, rehearsing plays. Performing plays. Directing plays.

We all liked plays.

And much of that time had been spent in visiting.

This was the first time he wouldn't look at me while doing so.

Weird.

An hour and a half later, he left.

I shook off my uneasy feelings and went to get ready for bed.

I opened my mouth to floss my teeth.

And discovered that a leaf of lettuce was neatly covering one of my upper front teeth.

Not wedged between.

Not faintly visible.

Covered.

Like it had been painted.

Green.

Ick.

I stared.

Suddenly things were becoming clear.

Suddenly I knew why our friend hadn't been able to look at me during our visit.

I turned to my husby.

“Honey, I have a lettuce leaf covering my tooth!”

“Yes.”

Okay, a man of many words, my husby isn't.

I swallowed. Hard.

“Was it there the whole time we were visiting?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn't you tell me???!!!”

“I didn't want to embarrass you.”

“What?! You don't think I'm more embarrassed now?!”

He shrugged.

I took a deep breath.

“Honey, I want you to promise me something.”

“Okay,” he said, rather warily.

“Promise me that if you see anything, anything that I would be embarrassed about, you will tell me.”

“Umm. Okay.”

And there we see a fundamental difference between men and women.

Women will go out of their way to tell a total stranger that the tag is sticking out of the back of their blouse.

Or that they have something stuck in their hair.

Or that they have some gravy on their sleeve.

And then offer aid.

Men don't.

Tell, that is.

Or aid.

If they observe it at all, they keep it to themselves.

Even with other men.

I've seen a man standing in a group of men with his fly down.

And his shirttail sticking out of said zipper.

And no one told him.

I asked my husby afterwards if he had observed it.

“Yes.”

“Why didn't anyone say anything.”

“Didn't want to embarrass him.”

Doesn't it occur to these people that it's infinitely more embarrassing to discover these things for oneself hours later?

Yep. One more reason I'm glad I'm a woman.