Server and Servee. |
I'm a people-pleaser.
Or try to be.
Call it a weakness.
But I've always had this compulsion to make everyone around me as comfortable as possible.
Most of the time, it's fun.
Occasionally, not.
Let me tell you about it.
When I was first married, my greatest wish was to see my new Husby happy, comfortable and well-fed.
I worked hard at it.
Fortunately, he is a kind and considerate man, so all was well.
I had meals ready at meal times.
Kept the laundry done.
Cleaned the house.
Ran errands for him.
This went on for some time.
Then, I began to realize that some of the 'errands' were jobs he could have done equally well himself.
And probably should.
Case in point:
Whenever he would use a tissue ( Kleenex), he would then hand me said used tissue and I would hunt for a garbage to throw it in.
True story.
Can everyone say “gullible”?
This went on for nearly three years.
Then, one day, we were at a reception.
My Husby used a tissue and turned and held it out to me.
Now, the normal people-pleasing Diane would have taken it and found a place to dispose of it.
The new Diane looked at the tissue, then at my Husby and said, “Throw it out yourself.”
Whereupon (good word) he laughed and stuck it into his pocket. “Finally caught on, did you?” he said.
And that's when I hit him.
Oh, not hard.
Just enough for him to know that I was . . . displeased.
And that he could run his own stupid errands from now on.
Ha!
There.
I said it.
Kleenex, anyone?
I'm sure glad you educated that old lout -- your new, kind, gentle, sensitive, non-teasing, self-nose-blowing-and-tissue-disposing husby would never do anything like that. I asked him. He's the kindest, gentlest, sensitive-est and non-teasing-est guy I know. Really.
ReplyDeleteUmmm . . . yes . . .
DeleteGlad you caught on when you did. I was raised by a caterer who was raised by a caterer etc. I thought that's what I was supposed to do for about 7-8 years. Then expectations had been set and I felt bad for not doing these kinds of things. He thought it was my way of showing love, which it was, but when I decided not to do all these things he felt like it was the love I was taking away. I think we're a little "healthier" now but it's been a long road.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post. Glad I have someone who can relate to me on this.
I'm in your corner, Trina! :)
DeleteHaha! Believe it or not I know a kid like that. He's learning fast though :)
ReplyDeleteEveryone learns faster than I did! :(
DeleteI have a friend who runs her boyfriend's bath, lays out his clothes.
ReplyDeleteShe likes doing it, but sometimes I just gotta laugh and shake my head...
Pearl
Shaking my head, too. At both your friend and me!
DeleteWow...it sure took you long enough. I take used kleenex from no one baby.
ReplyDeleteYep. Always knew you were smarter than me!
Deletelol eeeeyew!! as they say today lol
ReplyDeleteI so agree!
DeleteTell your husby thanks from me. I am going to try that trick and see how long it takes for the little lady to catch on. lol
ReplyDeleteUmm . . . oops . . . Let us know how that goes! :)
DeleteHAhaha!! BUT ... not sure whether I'm laughing at you - or him!! I'm reminded of a Dorothy Parker poem: 'In youth it was a way I had/To do my best to please/and change with every passing lad/To suit his theories/But now I know the things I know/And do the things I do/And if you do not like it so/To he** my love, with you! The 2nd stanza is the more appropriate!!!
ReplyDeleteLove it! I'm going to commit this to memory. I don't remember my Dad reciting it, and it sounds like something he'd like. Heck, it's something I like!
DeleteI love your husband's response.
ReplyDeleteSome husbands could have actually gotten mad at the abrupt change...but your guy rolled with it (KNOWING that it was a change that needed to be made).
Kudos to him...and you.