Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Friday, July 6, 2012

The Birds and the Bees

No

Yes








This story is about sex.
But it’s not what you think.
I was raised on a ranch.
There are animals on a ranch.
That do ‘animal stuff’.
Eating. Sleeping. Growing.
Making other ‘little’ animals.
Which then eat. And sleep. And grow.
And make . . .
You get the picture.
It was the rhythm of life throughout my childhood.
The statement, ‘I grew up with it’?
Applies here.
My earliest memory of the whole ‘animals fulfilling the measure of their creation’ happened when I was four.
Roundup.
A great red and white sea of animals had been penned in the main corrals.
One jumped atop another.
“Daddy, what’s that cow doing?”
My dad turned and looked.
Then realized that he wasn’t quite ready to explain the whole reproductive process to his wide-eyed daughter. “Oh,” he said. “Ummm . . . resting his feet.”
“Oh.” I was satisfied.
For a while.
Oh, he did explain things.
Later.
When the whole ‘resting his feet’ explanation started to wear a bit thin.
Yes, being raised on a ranch is an eye-opening experience.
By the time I was in grade nine, I knew it all.
Or thought I did.
We were in biology class. My favourite science.
The teacher was talking about animal reproduction.
Yawn.
Specifically: chickens.
“Now the chicken ovulates once a day,” he was saying. “That’s where we get our yummy, delicious eggs.”
I was with him this far.
“But when . . . exposed  . . . to a rooster, the egg becomes fertilized and a chick results.”
Wait a minute.
Roosters have a purpose?
Other than the obvious one of chasing us kids around and being generally obnoxious?
Hold the phone!
Unfortunately, my astonishment was, much to my dismay, expressed verbally.
“What?!”
Whereupon (good word) every kid in the class turned and looked at me.
And snickered.
Sigh.
Yep. I was nearly 14.
And I had just learned that birds follow the same reproductive channels (so to speak) as other animals.
Okay. Now, I knew it all.
I just wish I could forget it . . .

16 comments:

  1. I had a sheltered childhood. It wasn't til we moved to the farm when I was 12 that things became uncomfortably apparent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uncomfortably apparent. Perfect term! Pretty much describes most of the goings on on a ranch!

      Delete
  2. I was in my late twenties when I realized there was a bird side to birds and bees. I watched two birds on the ground outside my boss's window. "Look, they're fighting." He glanced over, turned red, and said he didn't think they were fighting. Really embarassing in 1969.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funnily enough, 1969 was the year I learned about the bird part of the 'birds and the bees'. Must have been something in the air that year!!!

      Delete
  3. My favorite take on the birds and the bees was during an episode of Petticoat Junction when Charlie, the train engineer was teaching Betty, Billie and Bobby Joe the facts of life: "The birds go tweety tweet, tweet (he whistled) and the bees buzz (he then made a sound that was closer to 'escaping' wind. All Kate could hear through the door was the chirping and the 'wind.'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I loved Uncle Charlie! Our Dad must have received his teaching abilities from the same school as Uncle Charlie!

      Delete
  4. Funnily enough, when we were learning about reproduction in grade school, I was just about the only kid in the whole class who didn't blush or laugh at anything...

    Wonder where that objectivity came from...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahhh! There are some perks to being raised on a ranch!

      Delete
  5. I am so with you on this...Joanne, too. The bird thing always eluded me. REcently, I saw an episode on elephants. Now THAT is incredible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know what it is about birds?! I guess they just never seemed . . . aerodynamically conducive to the whole mating game. Is that a contradiction in terms?

      Delete
  6. Sometimes we think we know so much as a child and then we find out we know so very little :) It's the same as an adult... we continue to learn;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Funny story Diane...Ironically, when I was visiting my sister recently we got into the whole why we don't find chicks in the eggs we eat....Now that was kind of funny sitting around a table in the restaurant with my mom, sister, and her fiance (yes, my sister will be married soon and she couldn't figure out the whole chicken/rooster thing). You can tell she was NOT raised on a ranch! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think your sister and I would get along well! Sweet and innocent! ;)

      Delete
  8. My daughter had to do a report on reproduction and she picked the chicken as her animal. She made a short clip of chickens entering and exiting their um fertilization process to the tune "In The Jungle The Lion Sleeps Tonight". It was hilariously genius.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great looking site and congrats on the new blog. I’m adding it to my reading list.I enjoy the way you have presented this great information.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting! Drop by again!

Real Estates: All Murders Included in the Price!

Real Estates: All Murders Included in the Price!
My FIRST murder mystery!

Blessed by a Curse

Blessed by a Curse
My very first Medieval Romance!

God's Tree

God's Tree
For the Children

Third in the series

Third in the series
Deborah. Fugitive of Faith

The Long-Awaited Sequel to Daughter of Ishmael

The Long-Awaited Sequel to Daughter of Ishmael
A House Divided is now available at all fine bookstores and on Amazon.com and .ca!

Daughter of Ishmael

Daughter of Ishmael
Now available at Amazon.com and .ca and Chapters.ca and other fine bookstores.

Romance still wins!

Romance still wins!
First romance in a decade!

Hosts: Your Room's Ready

Hosts: Your Room's Ready
A fun romp through the world's most haunted hotel!

Hugs, Delivered.

Compass Book Ratings

Compass Book Ratings

Ghost of the Overlook

Ghost of the Overlook
Need a fright?

My Granddaughter is Carrying on the Legacy!

My Granddaughter is Carrying on the Legacy!
New Tween Novel!

Gnome for Christmas

Gnome for Christmas
The newest in my Christmas Series

SnowMan

SnowMan
A heart warming story of love and sacrifice.

Translate

My novel, Carving Angels

My novel, Carving Angels
Read it! You know you want to!

My Second Novel: Kris Kringle's Magic

My Second Novel: Kris Kringle's Magic
What could be better than a second Christmas story?!

Join me on Maven

Connect with me on Maven

Essence

Essence
A scientist and his son struggle to keep their earth-shattering discovery out of the wrong hands.

Essence: A Second Dose

Essence: A Second Dose
Captured and imprisoned, a scientist and his son use their amazing discovery to foil evil plans.

Looking for a Great Read?

E-Books by Diane Stringam Tolley
Available from Smashwords.com

The Babysitter

The Babysitter
A baby-kidnapping ring has its eye on J'Aime and her tiny niece.

Melissa

Melissa
Haunted by her past, Melissa must carve a future. Without Cain.

Devon

Devon
Following tragedy, Devon retreats to the solitude of the prairie. Until a girl is dropped in his lap.

Pearl, Why You Little...

Pearl, Why You Little...
Everyone should spend a little time with Pearl!

The Marketing Mentress

The Marketing Mentress
Building solid relationships with podcast and LinkedIn marketing

Coffee Row

Coffee Row
My Big Brother's Stories

Better Blogger Network

Semper Fidelis

Semper Fidelis
I've been given an award!!!

The Liebster Award

The Liebster Award
My good friend and Amazing Blogger, Marcia of Menopausal Mother awarded me . . .

Irresistibly Sweet Award

Irresistibly Sweet Award
Delores, my good friend from The Feathered Nest, has nominated me!

Sunshine Award!!!

Sunshine Award!!!
My good friend Red from Oz has nominated me!!!

My very own Humorous Blogger Award From Delores at The Feathered Nest!

Be Courageous!


Grab and Add!

Search This Blog

Ghost of the Overlook

Ghost of the Overlook
Need a fright?