In the calving field at the Stringam
Ranch was a large patch of bullberry bushes.
Or at least that's what we called them.
I don't know what their 'official' name
is.
It doesn't matter.
Whatever their name, they're deadly.
Spikes – I am not exaggerating – up
to two inches long.
Against a tender and unprotected human
hide, they could do some real damage.
The cows in the field had learned to
use them.
When a *gasp*
human appeared, they would charge into the bushes.
And chuckle with their friends.
I know.
I heard them.
Moving on . . .
The first time or two, my horse decided
to charge in after them.
I should explain that a horse's hide is
equally as tough as a cow's.
A human's? See above.
Inevitably I would emerge from such
incidents rather the 'worse for the wear'.
As my mother was so fond of saying.
The second time I showed up at home
with bloodstains on my shredded jeans, my mother drug out Dad's
moose-hide chaps.
Now, I should mention here that chaps
look really good on a tall slim cowboy.
Really, really good.
Ahem.
And certainly they have their uses.
The chaps, not the cowboys.
Okay yes. A cowboy, too, has his uses.
But that is a completely different sort
of post . . .
Back to my story . . .
Chaps provide protection from the
ravages of ranch work.
They have saved many a pair of jeans
from wear during haying.
And many a cowboy from damage when
things get up close and personal.
But they are perversely hard to ride in
when one is doing so bareback.
I know.
I tried.
Bareback riding requires balance.
Intuition.
And a good grip with the knees.
Chaps, especially heavy ones, prevent
the all-important knee grip.
And actually make balance a bit more
difficult.
Sigh.
What to do?
Protection won out.
I wore the chaps.
And they sported the scars to prove it.
Picture leather nearly a quarter of an
inch thick.
With cuts that went almost all the way
through.
That could have been me.
Years later, I showed them to my
children.
Who expressed proper and well-deserved
awe and amazement.
Yesterday, my Husby and I were
wandering through a store in cattlemen country.
Hanging from the rafters just inside
the front door were a pair of chaps.
But not just any chaps.
These were made of leather, dyed green
and purple and gold and pink.
With silver fringe.
I stared at them.
Chaps had obviously changed.
Not just for protection any more.
Now they could be worn to scare
cows out of the bush.
Or so that their rider could be seen by
satellite.
Ranching has come a long way.
Did they come with matching eye shadow?
ReplyDeleteNow THAT would have been tempting . . .
DeleteHow come I don't remember these apocryphal moose-hide chaps?
ReplyDeleteI have one word: Auction.
DeleteSo...did you buy any? And Grant? :)
ReplyDeleteHmmm. They would have looked SO good on him!
DeleteWith the eye shadow.
DeleteActually, the world has come a long way since we were kids. Fortunately not everything is green and purple, gold and pink, with silver fringe.
ReplyDeleteFortunate indeed!
DeleteIt will be DAYS before I get the image -- and sound! -- of a chuckling cow out of my head.
ReplyDelete:-)
Pearl
You should hear them when they get together with their friends. Tea and gossip and whose hairstyle is working. It isn't a pretty sight.
DeleteHahaha Diane, too funny... bright chaps for scaring the cows or so that they could be seen by satellite... :D
ReplyDeleteYou never know. Better to be prepared . . . :)
Deletelol That was funny but they sure sound like a wise thing to wear. My Dad made my dog a collar a bit more than a 1/4 inch thick with spikes.
ReplyDeleteHe was a mix of spaniel and lab and looked like a small collie . He loved to run in the tall field grass and he'd jump up to see ahead of him and he looked gorgeous with his white fur around the neck. Well he would follow me when I bicycled and dogs would attack him. Shepherds. They bit right through that collar and it saved him many a time while he was saving me from them on the road.
Brave, brave champion. With his studded, tough-dog collar. Probably a challenge to tough dogs everywhere. Like a leather jacket on a 98 pound weakling.
DeleteI've seen a few outfits that could scare the cows into submission and unfortunately looking at my yearbooks, I wore a few of them.
ReplyDeleteI would LOVE to see those yearbooks!!! I think I wore some of the same outfits!
Delete