Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Friday, October 4, 2013

Spiders. And Me.


Daddy, my brother, George, and me.
No spiders were harmed in the taking of this picture.
But the area was scrutinized closely . . .
Spiders and I have always gotten along.
Provided they are on the opposite side of the room and in plain view so escape-age is entirely possible.
Or better yet, in an entirely different country.
Or planet.
Okay. Spiders and I don't get along.
It all started when I became conscious (ie. born) and lasted until . . . well . . . now.
As I grew, my persnickety-ness became more and more pronounced.
And pro-active.
I would carefully shake out each shoe before I put it on. (I had heard that people in scorpion-infested parts of the world do this regularly. I thought it a good idea.)
Check clothes and coat pockets with a flashlight.
All the usual things one could do while getting dressed.
Because you never knew just where those little beggers would be hiding.
Once, when I was sitting, minding my own business in seventh grade English, I saw a spider climbing down the wall next to me.
I kept a wary eye on it.
You never know – with spiders.
They're tricky.
It climbed slowly down.
Down.
And then scurried across the floor towards the person seated in front of me.
All senses were immediately put on alert.
A few minutes later, when something touched my leg, I leaped nearly seven feet into the air.
Truly.
It's a school record.
You can look it up.
And so it continues to this day.
I do put on a brave face for my children and grand children.
Unfortunately, it looks like the one I wear all of the time, just a little more . . . tense.
Teeth firmly clamped around bottom lip.
Knitted brows.
Sheen of sweat. Glowing slightly.
That sort of thing.
Evil world-destruction plotting spider is approached cautiously and swatted firmly with a fly swatter.
Then beaten unrecognizable with whatever is at hand.
Shoe.
Baseball bat.
I admit it.
Humane disposal and me and spiders don't fit into the same sentence.
Oh. Wait . . .
It's probably a good thing I live where I do, spiders here are teensy.
In Greece, they have been know to carry off pets and small animals and the occasional tourist.
True story.
Remind me to tell you about it.

19 comments:

  1. I, myself, do not trust the wily spider.

    But MOTHS?! Holy hannah, don't get me started on MOTHS. How I hate them...

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Trust' is way down the list for me - somewhere following 'tolerate' or even 'get-near-without-freaking-out'.

      Delete
  2. I don't mind spiders at all as long as they leave me out of their life plans. Any indication to the contrary results in a flushing experience for the spider.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah the flushing experience! I know it well...

      Delete
  3. I had a pet spider in my laundry room. Every time I went down into the basement to do a batch of laundry, my friendly spider would come out and just sit in the middle of the floor as if it was staring right at me. We had some great conversations, well kind of one-sided conversations. It was quite a large one, about 2.5 inches from spanned leg to leg on either side. It wasn't a "Daddy Long-Legs". It had a more husky body and thick legs...and it wasn't a poisonous spider. Believe me, I looked it up. One day, I said to the spider that he just had to go, because I was afraid that I would step on him. So I scooped him up in a jar and let him go outside in the flower bed. Never saw him again after that.
    I will always remember my pet "spidy" and me.
    There's my spider story for today.
    Love,
    Chris

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just think...in a matter of weeks I will be a be to pack up my spiders and deliver them personally to your house! Life just doesn't get any better!

      Delete
  4. Hilarious! Although that might not be the full range of emotion you were hoping to elicit ...

    My nemesis is the earwig. I like to think I am kind toward nature's beasts, but the earwig and I cannot share space.

    Chris's story made me smile!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Umm...yes. Hilarious wasn't quite what I was going for... :)
      But I'll take it!
      I saw an earwig once. I'll add it to the hit list.
      And Chris always the saint in the family!

      Delete
  5. This is s great! But I have to admit, I cringed when I read the blog post title--I was scared you were going to have pictures of spiders on here!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But then I wouldn't have been able to read my own story! *shudder*

      Delete
  6. I have a funny story for you Diane... I went camping when I was young... my sister woke up early... saw a spider near her and she accidentally through fear sucked her breath in and swallowed the spider... true story...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm okay with spiders unless they crawl on me or have a red mark on thier bellies and then all bets are off! LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gaahhh! I'd never get close enough to check for a red spot. (Me, with binoculars: Can anyone see if that spider three counties over has a red spot? Please?)

      Delete
  8. You wouldn't like the Black Widders under our deck then. Or the Cat spiders. But I have to say that wasp spray and brake cleaner do them immediate justice...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meted out by someone far away from me. Like the spider . . .

      Delete
  9. Black widows and brown whatevers are scary, and I spray the heck out of their domain.

    Normal spiders are okay, as long as they return outside.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm not bothered by spiders, although I did jump sideways off my chair when a huntsman appeared very suddenly on the wall right by my head a few weeks ago. I think I frightened him too because he scuttled off behind the curtain. I smack the deadly ones (redbacks) until they're mush, but the others I usually put back outside.

    ReplyDelete

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