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I like to swim.
It’s the one exercise during which nothing hurts.
And at my age, that’s an enormous plus.
I don’t go as often as I used to, but still try to make it
three times a week.
And work hard while I’m there.
It’s a matter of efficiency . . .
I also have a rather distinctive swimming suit. Made it
myself.
It’s . . . modest. Something really, really necessary as I
age and my body slowly succumbs to gravity and certain parts need more and more control
to keep them . . . controlled.
A few days ago, I was working my hardest. Plowing through
the water like a determined hippo. (And those things can move! Just FYI.)
I noticed the lifeguard, occasionally. Guarding life.
When I finished and showered, and was donning footwear and
packing up in the front foyer, I noticed said lifeguard coming toward me at
flank speed.
He obviously had something to say.
To me.
Immediately, my mind leapt to different scenarios: He wanted
to hire me to teach swimming. He was so amazed at my prowess that he wanted to
sign me up for the upcoming swim meet – senior’s class. He wanted me to take
the job as coach and trainer for the local swim team. He . . .
“Um, Ma’am? Are you the one who was wearing the
blue-striped swimsuit?”
He wanted me to make him one of my special, discloses
nothing, swimsuits! I smiled. “Yes?”
“You have a big hole in the backside of your suit.”
Oh.
Oh.
Oh NO! The best laid plans..... I have to admit I laughed out loud though :)!
ReplyDeleteSomeday, I'm going to laugh out loud. Someday . . . :)
DeleteAck! Gasp! How awkward! That IS an awesome bathing suit, though.
ReplyDeleteWhy, thank you! It has been the subject of a couple of posts now . . .
DeleteWas it Elvis who sang: 'Let's go on a MOON-light swim?'
ReplyDeleteI do hope that's not what he meant! :)
DeleteOh, no! My friend made her own suit and went water skiing and... well, hand sewn items don't do well with that kind of water pressure. The whole thing fell completely apart, and she was entirely naked!
ReplyDeleteI still think your suit looks nice, though. Perhaps a patch?
Yikes! Note to self: Avoid water skiing!
DeleteNot so modest after all????
ReplyDeleteSadly, no.
DeleteDiane--Hilarious story. This is the sort of thing that usually happens to me, so it was delightful to hear of someone else emBAREassed.
ReplyDeleteHow about a mile or so of duct tape wound around the whole circumference? That would be quite fetching.
Hmm . . . duct tape. I like how you think!
DeleteOh no!
ReplyDeleteI know. Right?
DeleteLOLOL #JUSOFONII Glad BB's not alone in these types of scenarios. BB2U
ReplyDeleteSisters, BB. Sisters.
DeleteTruly embarrassing. But that said, I want one of those bathing suits! I have dreamed about something like that for years. I will pay a pretty penny. Fun post.
ReplyDeleteAnita
Let me know, Anita! :)
Delete"Oh".Ha Ha Oh indeed! nice of him to let you know though, now you can applique a nice big daisy over it.
ReplyDeleteI'd love a cover up swimsuit like that if I was still swimming, but I've given it up.
A daisy! Good idea. Of course, I'm not sure what it would look like fom a distance . . . or close up for that matter.
DeleteOh no! I can't help it but this had me cracking up! It sounds like something that would happen to me!
ReplyDeleteI can still remember your fight between swimming suit and surf, Rena. You win.
Delete