Blair and his first pair of shoes . . . |
I bought myself a pair of shoes the
other day. Very practical with a heavy sole and a solid leather upper.
Every once in a while I think I should
consider a lighter pair – especially considering I live where it
is very hot. But this thought does not
linger long. I have to have a solid pair of shoes.
Why?
Growing up on the ranch.
Maybe I should explain . . .
When I was a wee lad, my mother
provided me with a vast array of foot wear.
I had a pair of flip flops, running shoes, rubber boots (gum boots to us
but which some people call 'Irrigator Tony Lamas'), and cowboy boots.
First I tried my flip flops. But I soon discovered that one could easily
bruise one’s toe when walking across the graveled drive to the barn. Plus the entire foot was exposed, inviting
close contact with animal digestion products.
Ewww.
Flip flops were not desirable.
Next I tried my rubber boots. Hmm. Easy
and quick to put on, plus they protected my toes from unwanted bruises and my
feet from the aforementioned products of animal digestion abundantly scattered
around the barn [even though we actively collected them and put them in the
animal digestion products (manure) pile].
And rubber boots were great when it rained and I could walk across/through mud
puddles.
An aside here: I did have to be careful
in mud puddles because sometimes my boots stuck in the mud causing me to step out
of said boot and into said mud with my foot.
Not a desirable plan.
However, I discovered that the most
undesirable feature of gum boots was they offered little protection for my feet
when I was around horses, who just happen to be very adept at picking up their
feet and placing them on my foot with amazing and lightning-fast precision.
A thought: Missile guidance design
engineers will never be able to craft a system that achieves the precise
accuracy of a horse when they place their hoof on your foot, then, having
nailed your foot, shift their weight from all their other hooves to the one that
pinned your ……ahhhhhhhh ……..….. FOOT!
Also: I’m fairly certain the horse then
says in horse talk to his friends, “Hey I nailed this poor little sucker this
time! Hey look at me, I can place all of
my weight on the one hoof! Bet you guys
can’t do that. Oh, hey look! I think that his foot hurts so much he’s
going to pass out!”
Moving on . . .
So gum boots were out.
I finally determined that ultra-sturdy cowboy
boots offered the best fortification. My
toes didn’t hurt near as much when the horse stepped on a foot that had been
thus adorned.
Later I discovered work boots and that
was even better.
But that is another story.
So please know that when I shop for
shoes, I may look at the lighter, cooler one, but my toes tell me that they
would rather be safe in something solid and sturdy.
Habits, unlike toes, are hard to break.
Clearly you ranchers think far more about your footwear than I've ever had to.
ReplyDeleteAlthough your story had me laughing, I have to admit that I'm still chuckling over "animal digestion products" and "animal digestion products pile". I've never heard "shit" so delicately referred to!
I don't blame you! I've had my foot stepped on while wearing sandals! Ouch!
ReplyDeleteWhen I shop for shoes, I look at everything I want, then buy the one pair of sneakers that fit. I have very wide feet and all the pretty shoes just don't fit.
ReplyDeleteWe survive in flip flops here in the south Florida coast but yes, I've had my share of bruised toes from being stepped on!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty much in River's shoes (hah!) in this arena ... I look at all the nice shoes I'd like, then buy the single pair that fits :(
ReplyDeleteAnd they are never boots! I can only wish for boots that fit.
Oooh -that feeling of a horses hoof coming down on your foot! My toes curled a little just reading about it!
ReplyDelete