Photo Credit: Kimberley Laakso Photography |
I have some questions . . .
Does Claustrophobic label those afraid of Santa Claus?
Is it low elf esteem in
Santa’s elf? Depressed by what he was?
Is Christmas like your job?
You work. The fat guy gets the credit.
And do you call an Elf who sings
a wrapper? There, I said it.
Did Rudeolph get his famous name because he was obnoxious?
Are they really saying deck
the Halls? A law suit makes me cautious.
Is the Christmas script
unlike the rest because it has noel?
A disbelieving kid a Rebel Without
a Claus? Do tell.
Why is Santa’s Christmas
wrap exactly like my Mom’s?
Is Santa Claus North Polish? Please, this question’s irked
me some.
Is subordinate claus what Santa calls his clever little minions?
This Christmas time, because
I’m broke, can I gift you my opinion?
These are things that scorn me
when awake at half-past two.
Those trivial things that I
can’t answer. Tell me, now, can you?
When the Gingerbread man
makes up his bed, does he use a cookie sheet?
Does Santa have three
gardens for his, “Hoe. Hoe. Hoe.”? Please Tweet.
And when you do, remember,
that it’s not the gifts and tree,
But who is there beside you
as you’re sipping on Chablis.
The family and those friends
with whom you live throughout the year.
And without whom life would
be sad here in this biosphere.
Oh my...that is the biggest collection of groaners I have ever read.
ReplyDeleteMy job here is done! :)
DeleteHAHAHAHHA if my husband wrote a post, it would be much like this.
ReplyDeleteI like your husband! :)
Deleteonly slightly confused is right. And I do hope that poor Santa can enlist the elf service to help in his garden.
ReplyDeleteI like how you think! I could use some of those elves . . .
DeleteHo! Ho! Ho! these are funny! And your final observation is so true.
ReplyDeleteYou two look just like the Mr. and Mrs. Santa in my 7-year-old imagination --- wonderful costumes, and - those warm smiles!
Hmmm . . . I think I like your seven-year-old imagination. Sounds a lot like mine! :)
DeleteThis is just fabulous, you're so clever!
ReplyDeleteThank you, River!
DeleteVery clever wording! I have a few concoctions myself but unfortunately very few are usable in a family-type publication. Have yourself a great Christmas!
ReplyDeleteHeh! Heh! I'd still like to hear them . . .
DeleteAnd a wonderful Christmas to you as well! :)