We are vacationing on uber-beautiful Vancouver Island. We
are fortunate in that our middle son lives here, so it is a destination. And also
a reunion.
We are camping. But camping deluxe, with a four-star
bathroom. Granite counters, framed mirrors, slate floors. The works.
My own bathroom isn’t this nice. (We’re seniors, so the
bathrooms are important to us. Both in proximity and in cleanliness.)
Moving on . . .
But still, we are camping, with all of the pitfalls and
challenges that entails.
Such as the weather.
Today, I am sitting in our tent, listening to a much-needed
rain hitting the canvas over my head.
Needed, that is, by everyone on the Island.
Except the tourists.
But some things are going on as normal.
And so we get to the point of this story . . .
We are surrounded by years-old trees here.
Many years old.
They are tall. And plentiful. And lush. And the personal
home/gathering spot for the area’s crows.
Crows, as you probably know, are noisy.
Especially early in the morning.
Today, we were blessed that their morning meeting was on the
far side of the campground, only faintly discernible to us near the bathrooms. (Seniors.
Bathrooms. Important. See above.)
I feel for those people.
Not.
It was our turn yesterday and now they can take theirs. Ha!
As I was lying in my cozy -50 sleeping bag, listening to the
morning chorus, I began to wonder exactly what the conversation entailed.
Here is my take:
Alphonse: “Okay, is
everyone here? Reggie! Where is Reggie?”
Beatrice: “He’s
feeding the babies, Alphonse. They woke him and Myrtle up and she’s got a
headache and their sitter cancelled so he’s doing double duty today.”
Alphonse: “Okay, well,
we’ll excuse him. Is everyone else here?”
Jerrold: “Greta said
she’d be a bit late. Some errand she had to run.”
Alphonse: Sighing. “People!
Need I remind you how important our job is? If we don’t have everyone here, we
can’t work properly and things get missed!”
A chorus of: “We know.”
“Yes, boss” “Sorry!”
Alphonse: “All right.
Let’s get to work.” Looks everyone over. “Peter and Elaine. You take the north
east quadrant.”
Peter: “But we were
there yesterday! Some kids threw things at us!”
Alphonse (unmoved): “Part
of the job, Peter. You knew that when you signed on.”
Peter (mumbling): “I
hate this job!”
Alphonse: “What?”
Peter: “Nothing.”
Alphonse: “Becky and
Beatrice? Northwest. And good work yesterday, by the way!”
Beatrice: “Becky just
had a great idea and we went with it.”
Alphonse: “Well, it
was effective. Do it again.”
Beatrice: “Gladly!”
Alphonse: “Jerrold?
Mikey? Sue? Debbie? I want the four of you to cover both the southeast and
southwest. Mix it up. Keep them guessing.”
Jerrold: “I think I
can speak for all of us, Boss. Happy to.”
Alphonse: “The rest of
you, I’m sending you to the center of the campground. It seems to be especially
effective when you gather on the climbing frame in the middle of the
playground. Something about some movie the humans had a few years ago.”
Mary: “They seem
especially affected when we sit there silently and just watch them.”
Alphonse: “Okay, well,
I guess that’s all right. Not our usual, but we’re adaptable. Just don’t completely
neglect our signature loud-and-noisy.” Raises voice. “Okay, people! You know
your job! And if we can manage to chase another group of humans off, it’s all
to the good. Think like Becky and Beatrice. A little poop in a few strategic locations
in addition to the squawking seems to work miracles. Have a great day!”
I’m fairly certain this is how it goes. Every. Single.
Morning.
Sigh.
They've got a plan and they're working it.
ReplyDeleteAdmirable, isn't it.
DeleteI think you nailed it :)
ReplyDelete... and hilariously, I might add :)
DeleteThank you, Jenny! You've heard them, I'm sure.
DeleteIt sounds about right - but you forgot to add 'and if you see anything bright and shiny, TAKE IT (and bring it back to me). Yes Boss.'
ReplyDeleteOh, I totally did! Next incarnation . . .
DeleteI need luxury camping. When I was young, all I needed was a tent and a sleeping bad. Now - well, it's been many years. I just don't want to tick off the crows. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking by it. (And was to Vancouver, in 1988, but never made it to Vancouver Island).
ReplyDeleteI remember my 'rubber' years. When all I needed was a sleeping bag and a tent and the hard old ground. Now? Yikes! It'd take four strong men to get me up off said ground.
DeleteYeah, crows get ticked off really easily. Sigh.
Do come back. the island is fantastic!
Luxury camping...sounds fun, except for the birds!
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly!
DeleteOf course, it's their job. Just poop proof everything with covers that can be hosed off and enjoy the birds. I love crows and ravens.
ReplyDeleteAnd they do it so well! You are amazing. I need your voice in my head instead of theirs at 5:00 in the morning!
DeleteI think you nailed it.
ReplyDeleteโกเด้นสล็อต
สูตรบาคาร่า
Gclub จีคลับ
Heehee! Thank you!
Delete