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| Creative jobs require creative excuses |
Everyone, at some point, calls in sick to work.
Well . . . most everyone.
Even those toughest of the tough. The weather-hardened cowboys. Their excuses are just a bit more . . . creative.
In my grandfather's day, his hired men were all experienced, life-hardened individuals.
And I do mean individual.
One morning, one of his cowboys failed to report with the others.
Grampa handed out the day's assignments, then went in search.
He found the man seated snugly in the bunkhouse, both feet comfortably propped up on a chair.
Grampa stopped in the doorway.
“Are you coming out to work?” he asked.
“Can't,” the man said.
"Why not?"
"Toik."
Grampa stared at him. “Excuse me?”
“Toik,” the man repeated.
“Oh.” Grampa thought about that for a moment. Then, “What?” he asked again.
The hired man looked at him. “Toik,” he said carefully.
Grampa nodded. “That's what I thought you said.”
He turned and headed back to the barnyard.
For some time, he puzzled over the man's answer.
What on earth was a toik?
Finally, he found himself working alongside one of the other men.
“Smith not coming?” the man asked.
Grampa shook his head. “No. He said something about a toik.”
The hired man grinned. “And you had no idea what he was talking about?”
Again, Grampa shook his head. “None whatsoever,” he said.
The man laughed. “You can't guess what a toik is?”
“Nope.”
“Maybe I should translate.”
Grampa looked at him. “Please,” he said.
“Toe ache,” the man said.
“Ahhh!” Grampa said.
Things suddenly made . . . sense. Sort of. “Toe ache.”
“Yep.”
“Ah.”
Now I'm sure you've heard the excuse of 'a cold coming on'.
The flu.
Sore throat.
Sinus infection.
Broken bones.
Even the occasional bout of 'explosive diarrhoea'.
But I'd venture to guess that you've never before heard of a toik.
Well, now you have.
Feel free to use it . . .
Oh I've had toik....it's nothing to sneeze at.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in college, every Friday at noon, a guy with a clipboard would come down the lineup at the cafeteria. "Sting Sweegen?" he would ask. I didn't have a clue what he was asking. One of the louder guys finally asked: "What the hell is a sting-sweegen?" The guy paused for a moment. "Are you staying this weekend?"
ReplyDeleteSorry I can't comment about the toik; I'm too busy laughing about the sting sweegen.
ReplyDeleteMy father would have approved. If he didn't want to do something his excuse was often 'I can't. I have a bone in my leg.'
ReplyDeletePerhaps he had gout - that always used to make my dad's toik!
ReplyDeleteI'm keeping that one in mind from now on - although I don't think it will cut the mustard as a reason for not doing my office job! My usual excuse is a migraine - but I have less of those these days.
ReplyDeleteI remember the day I had toe ache, a sudden attack of something (gout?) and my feet from instep to toes were so painful I could barely walk from bus stop to home. So he could have had a genuine excuse, or just a happy day off work.
ReplyDeleteI will keep that one ready.I thought it would be tooth ache but a few Advil and that one is very treatable. Toe ache, yes that is unique and could be incurable until it is!
ReplyDeleteI'll have to give that one a try! I was afraid to imagine what that could be!
ReplyDeleteThat's funny! Cowboys are a tough breed so that must have been one tough toik!
ReplyDelete