Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Monday, June 18, 2018

Gnome, Sweet Gnome


‘Twas a surprise, my Husband said, this gnome with lederhosen, red,
Cause I needed something to regard, and help adorn my dreary yard.
His words embarrassed, just a bit, but rather than to pitch a fit,
I tried to show him I was pleased, and smiled and gave my man a squeeze.

Then dutifully, I embraced, my acquisition and I raced,
To prove to Hubs I was a fawner, I put it in a place of honour.
And there it sat, all smiles and glee, and pleasing everyone but me.
But Hubs was happy, so I was, too, and life went on a day or two.

“I saw him in the window, thought... they’d be a pair, and so I bought!”
And thus he brought Gnome number two. This one, with lederhosen, blue.
Dear Husband bought with such great glee. And so I placed it carefully,
And now two faces in my yard, dressed red. And blue. And standing guard.

“A little trio! Look. And See. That one is there on bended knee.
‘Tis a proposal… (Oh, what fun!) …of marriage to that other one!
The third a preacher. Ready. Set. Just how much better can it get?!”
And thus acquired four, five and six. And added to my little mix.

And so it went. With each new day, more little figures came my way,
For Husband, thinking they gave joy, bought little Gnomish girls and boys.
And I placed each and every one, to try to please my Honeybun.
And soon, one couldn’t walk or run, without colliding with someone!

Now my yard’s crowded, oh, dear me! There’s gnomes as far as one can see,
Some are seated, some stand up. They’ve kittens, horses, birds and pups.
I think there’s three that carry snails. Look! One has brought me gnomish mail!
Those painted eyes, they do not see, repeated pleas to leave me be.

And so I know what I must do, to save my yard (and reason, too).
I’ll have a little garden sale. It’s what I need, it cannot fail!
The sign, I’ll make so carefully, it’s letters large and filled with glee:
For sale, one husband, not alone, with him come 80 Garden Gnomes!


Mondays to get knocked a lot,
With poetry, we three besought,
To try to make the week begin
With pleasant thought--perhaps a grin?
So Jenny and Delores, we,
Have posted poems for you to see.
And now you've seen what we have brought . . .
Did we help?
Or did we not?

Next week through our working haze,
We'll celebrate vacation days!

8 comments:

  1. Oh Diane this made me laugh! I have a friend who gives her husband a garden gnome every Father's day. Their oldest is 30! They gnomes crack me up in other's gardens. I am afraid I would take my hostility out on some beady eyes one day so best not to go down that road, but that's just me!

    ReplyDelete
  2. He looks like Gandolf in the photo.....this was such fun to read. I've always thought garden gomes would be great target practice for batters.

    ReplyDelete
  3. He is the Head Gnome!! That is a hilarious picture and poem :)

    "Vacation days" . . . and off we go for another poetic adventure :D Thanks, Diane.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So funny. My husband also gets... ahem.. a little carried away sometimes. Looks like you had the best solution to your problem!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Smiling broadly. And glad not to have (many) gnomes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Gnomish Girls? Lucky you, I'm unable to find a single one. I may have to search online. I have several gnomes and have just this second realised that one of them is a girl, dressed in Biker leather to match her partner. All my others are male gnomes and I'd love a few more girls in the mix.
    I love your gnomish poem too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh my gosh, this is hysterical. And your imaginative writing is such a joy to read!

    ReplyDelete

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