Mom and Sally were having a discussion in the kitchen.
Too often in the past, I had been front and center in their ‘discussions’.
I knew how 99% of them ended.
This time I had gotten smart. I was hiding out in the living
room, pretending to take in the view of our quiet street from the picture
window. A dusty old grey Volvo went slowly past and turned into the alleyway
just down the street.
“But, Honey. I simply don’t know . . .”
“Nope.” Sally was firm about whatever they were discussing.
“Well . . . if that’s how you really feel . . .” Mom’s voice
went up in volume a notch. “Gwen? Sally won’t be needing this turkey-bacon! I
guess you can have it!”
“What? No she can’t! Give that back!”
Mom went on. “I’m sure we can find vegetables enough to keep
you going. I’ll have to stock up on other things you will need…”
“Vegetables?”
“Yes, Sweetheart. Vegetables. Vegans eat a lot of them. If
you intend to start following a vegan diet you will have to do the same.”
“What?”
There was another silence and I could just picture Mom
staring at my sister with that funny little crease between her eyebrows. I call
it ‘Sally’s Crease’.
Because . . . Sally.
“Sally, just what did you think being Vegan meant?”
“Anti-vegetable.”
Mom laughed. “Anti-vegetable?”
“Well, Vegetable-anti, if you insist on being letter
perfect. ‘Veg-an’ for short.”
I rolled my eyes. Why was I not the least surprised?
Mom laughed again.
“Mo-om!”
This was getting better and better. I leaned my head against the warm glass and
listened harder.
Outside, I vaguely registered that the same Volvo was driving
slowly past from the opposite direction. At least I thought it was the same. No
way there could be two with the same dents.
And dust.
“See those Brussels sprouts?” Mom asked.
“Ye-ah.”
“Well get used to them because they’ll form a big part of
your new diet.”
“Gross.”
“Um-hmm. And the asparagus you detest? And anything else
green? Or red? Or orange? Yep. Learn to like them because they will be your
bread and butter. So to speak.”
“I didn’t know . . .”
“And forget the thick cream milkshakes. Or your favourite
scrambled eggs in the morning. I understand there are some great substitutes
that taste good, but . . .”
“Stop. Just stop. I only wanted a diet where I didn’t have
to eat vegetables. That eggplant yesterday was like chewing on an old cotton
rag!”
“Well, thanks a lot!” Mom sounded indignant.
“Is there such a diet?”
“No vegetables whatsoever? Yes. I think it’s called the “I-don’t-want-to-be-healthy-ever-again’
diet.”
Sally snorted and stomped out of the kitchen and into the
living room. She spotted me and moved closer. “Did you know that vegans eat
mostly vegetables?” she demanded.
I nodded. “Yep. No animals or animal products.”
“But I thought it meant . . .”
“No vegetables. I heard.”
Sally sighed and slumped back against the wall, her face a
picture of disgust and/or discouragement. “I thought I had it!” she murmured
mostly to herself.
“There it is again!” I said. I turned to look at her. “You
know, that’s weird?”
“What.”
“There’s an old grey Volvo that’s been driving back and
forth past here for the last 15 minutes.”
Sally straightened. “Really? An old grey car, you say?”
“Yep.”
“How old? How grey?”
I frowned. “Well on a scale of one to ten, I’d guess it was .
. . old. And grey! Sheesh! How am I supposed to measure? There’s a big dent in
the passenger side …”
Sally bolted to the door. “See you when I see you!”
“Sally! I made you a bag of carrot sticks and celery!” Mom
emerged from the kitchen holding up a plastic bag.
“Ugh. Gross!” Sally wrenched open the door and hurried
through it.
Mom smiled. “I guess that was the final, crooked nail in
Veganism’s coffin.”
I didn’t answer. I was riveted to the scene outside.
Sally ran into the street just as the old Volvo made yet
another pass. The car stopped abruptly. A young man opened the door and jumped
out, a big smile on his freckled face.
The car began to roll slowly forward.
The young man leaped back inside and the car again jerked to
a halt. Sally moved closer and leaned in to kiss him somewhere in the vicinity
of his ear.
“I think we have bigger fish to fry,” I said over my
shoulder.
“What’s that, dear?”
“Brace yourself. We’ve just entered a new trajectory.”
“What are you talking about?” Mom joined me at the window.
I put a hand on her shoulder. “I think Sally’s in love!”
12 times a year, the Friends of Karen submit words.
Those same words are then distributed to other Friends of Karen for subtle and effective story crafting.
The result is the Use Your Words word challenge.
Clever, right?
My words this month were: cotton ~ vegan ~ turkey-bacon ~ alleyway ~ Volvo
And were submitted by my good friend and fellow writer, Michelle at https://followmehome.shellybean.com!
Thanks for the great words, Michelle! And Sally thanks you, too! ;)
Now go and see what the other members of our Monthly Word Challenge have wrought!
I can tell you without a doubt that if Vegan actually meant that, my boys would have been Vegans from childhood.
ReplyDeleteAnd OH, SALLY, I cannot wait to see what's coming next, and if Mom can survive it!
"Because...Sally." Hahaha! I love your writing and Sally's version of Veganism. Many a child would be excited for that kind of "diet". You rocked my words, lady! <3
ReplyDeleteThere are members of my family (the ones who say that vegies are put on the plate to make the meat look better) who would love Sally's diet.
ReplyDeleteI could never be Vegan. I love vegetables, but also like red meat and eggs.
ReplyDeleteSally in love is a recipe for a whole new range of disasters.
Anti-vegetable, hahaha, nice try!
ReplyDeleteSo now we want to know who the Volvo driver is. I think it's safe to assume he's not living a vegan lifestyle either ;-)
What trouble a little misunderstanding of word meaning can bring!
ReplyDeleteAnd what trouble a new stage in Sally's life is going to bring . . .
Uh oh! Poor guy he has no idea what's in store for him! That Sally is something else & so are you!
ReplyDeleteDon't know why I'm unknown but it's me Rena!
DeleteI love your stories, Diane. My daughter is vegan---she will get a kick out of this one when I share it with her!
ReplyDelete