Cleaned

Okay. I admit it.

Sometimes kids have a strange idea of what’s funny.

Let me explain . . .

My brother, George, and I loved watching TV.

Like millions of other baby-boomers before and after us.

And, between our beloved slices of Gunsmoke, Woody Woodpecker, Bonanza, Ed Sullivan and Disney we were electrified by the ads for snowier wash, whiter teeth, hot drinks good to the last drop, better cleansers, stickier bandages, fluffier pastries, softer bread, happier soft drinks and new, new, new contraptions.

We had the jingles - indeed most of the ads - memorized.

Often, putting them to our own distinct uses.

George had a beloved T-shirt.

One he insisted on wearing daily until it was forcibly (sometimes surgically) removed for cleaning.

When it was returned to him, clean and fresh, he would happily re-don it for yet another cycle.

Said shirt justifiably began to show the wear.

Tiny holes started to appear along the seams and in a couple of places on the front.

These were happily ignored until, inevitably, they grew to sizes where ignorance could not justifiably be bliss.

And this is where he and I thought things took on a whole new hilarious angle.

Mom had been agitating for George to retire his adored shirt.

George was resisting.

Their dialogue was ongoing.

Finally Mom took the shirt and held it up, pointing out the obvious wear and gradually widening holes.

George took it and he, too, held it up. “This shirt is not only clean,” he said. He placed his eye up to one of the larger holes. “It is clean clear through!”

Okay, the makers of Fab laundry detergent probably didn’t have holes in mind when they created their ads. But George and I thought it was totally apt.

And totally hilarious.

Mom? Not so much.