A long short story.
Just because...
“Cross my palm with silver, young
man and I shall tell you what I see in your future!”
Gerald scratched his head and
stared into the blue face. Was this a face he could trust? Should he be—as
Brother Martin cautioned when he gave him the day off—cautious?
“How do I know what you say is true?”
“How do I know what you say is true?”
The man straightened huffily and
his blue skin seemed to glow. “You question the Blue Haruspex?”
“Well . . . I . . .”
“If I may interject.” Frederick, Gerald’s friend, whispered loudly into Gerald’s ear, “You are right to question. I see
not any entrails.”
Gerald nodded, then looked puzzled.
“Entrails?”
“A true haruspex would have his
tools of the trade, so to speak. His sacrificial animals and innards.”
“Right.” Gerald made a face and
looked at the Blue Haruspex. “What he said.”
The blue face was looking rather
confused. “You would hark to the voice of your manservant?”
Gerald waved a hand. “Well,
actually he’s not . . . Yes. Usually. Sometimes . . . Anyways, he’s right.
Where is your sacrificial animal?”
Again the man drew himself up,
sticking his blue nose into the air. “I have no need for such puffery!”
“And I have no need of your
services.” Gerald nodded decisively and turned away.
“Good decision, Gerald.”
Frederick followed him.
A blue hand shot out and grabbed
Gerald’s small, rather unmuscular arm, just above the elbow. The long fingers
encompassed it entirely. “Gerald? Gerald? Hear me, Master Gerald! For what I say will
affect, not only your life but the lives of all who inhabit Lessor Tess.” His
voice had gotten . . . weird.
Gerald stopped and turned. Then
gasped. The blue face was definitely
glowing. And the eyes had turned red.
Not something one sees every day.
“Erm. O-kay.”
“I see anguish. Pain. Unbelievable
suffering as all of humanity chokes and dies in the ashes and soot of an
expired world.”
Gerald’s eyes slid to one side,
then back. “Erm . . . I was rather hoping for a ‘turn the corner there,
right now, and the woman of your dreams, carrying a big pink basket, will trip
and fall into your arms.’ You know. That sort of thing.”
The blue fingers on his arm
tightened and the man leaned nearer. His breath smelled rather like eggs. And cheese.
“Your world is doomed. Doooomed!
And you are the one –the only one—chosen to save it. You must go on a great
quest.”
Again, Gerald looked away, then
back again. “Are you sure you have the right guy?” He lifted his
imprisoned arm. “And this kind of hurts, by the way.”
The blue fingers tightened still
more.
“Ouch!”
“Heed me, Master Gerald! There is
none else who can do it. If you do not go on your quest to save humanity, then
humanity is doooomed.”
“You keep saying that.”
“What?”
“Doooomed.”
“I like how it sounds. Doooooomed.”
“You’re right.” Gerald
smiled. “It sounds kind of . . . mysterious. Dooooooomed.”
“Doooooooooomed.”
“Doooooooooooooomed.”
Frederick looked disgusted. “Could
we get back to the point?”
The Blue Haruspex loosened his
grip. “Oh and one more thing. If you do not go on this quest, you will not
meet the woman of your dreams.”
Interestingly, now he had Gerald’s
full attention. “My what now?”
“The woman of your dreams. The girl
you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with. Your counterpart. The
Lady Gerald . . .”
Gerald shuddered.
“Okay, that didn’t come out right,
but hopefully, you get my drift.”
“So if I don’t go on this ‘quest’,
I don’t meet the girl and I don’t get married?”
“Plus that little first part where
I mentioned complete global annihilation. You do remember that right?”
“Right. But say again about the
girl.”
The BH sighed. “Yes. If you
go on this quest, you get the girl.”
“Yahoo!” Gerald hopped around a
bit. “A girl! A girl! A girl!” He turned back. “So what do I need to do?”
The BH shrugged. “Well, you
need to . . . go.”
“Yeah. But go where?”
“Somewhere . . . not here.” The BH
pointed down the road. “My guess would be to follow the road. Things
will happen as they should.”
Gerald sobered and stared in the
indicated direction. “Ummm . . . what things?”
“You’ll know.”
“But how will I know? What if
monsters and/or trolls come out of the landscape.”
“You’ll definitely know if monsters
and/or trolls come out of the landscape.”
“Know what?”
“That’s it’s time for something to
happen.”
Now Gerald had come to a complete
standstill. He tapped a finger on his lips thoughtfully. “So being torn limb
from limb is a distinct possibility.”
“Nothing great was ever gained
without great sacrifice.”
“But does that mean I have to
sacrifice a limb or two?”
“Maybe.”
Gerald went a little pale. “I’m
not sure I want this assignment.”
“It is not an assignment, Master
Gerald. It is your destiny.”
“Nevertheless . . .”
“You cannot not want your destiny!”
“Yes, I can.” Gerald folded his
arms. “It’s my destiny. I can choose whether or not I take it.”
“What? No, you can’t!”
“Says who?”
“Says . . . everyone.”
“Well, they’re wrong.”
“What!!” By this point the BH was
getting a bit . . . perturbed. “You cannot decide to ignore your
destiny!”
Gerald stuck out his chin. “I can
too!”
The BH threw up his hands. “I
give up.”
Gerald grinned. “I was just funning
with you. I’ll go.” He peered down the road. “How long before I get to meet the
girl?”
The BH shrugged. “How should I
know? It is your quest.”
“And my girl!”
“Yes.”
Gerald nodded decisively and,
hitching his small, leather pack over one shoulder, started down the road. “Come
on, Frederick. Let’s go.”
The BH looked surprised. “Perhaps
you should prepare? Maybe pack something? Quit your job? Say goodbye to loved
ones?”
Gerald thought about that for a
moment. “Nope. Frederick is all I have. I guess I could kiss Brother
Martin’s sheep good-bye or something, but they’re sheep. I expect they’re
pretty sloppy kissers. So we’re off!”
“Just like that? Just a thought,
but what about taking along—oh, I do not know—perhaps a weapon?”
“Hmmm. That is a good idea.” Gerald
picked up a long stick. “Here. This’ll do!”
The BH looked more confused. “A
stick.”
“It’s pointed. See?”
“A pointed stick. You are going out
on your life-changing, possibly dangerous quest, with a pointed stick?” The BH
rolled his eyes. “That may protect you . . . if the bad guy comes at you with a
banana!”
Gerald put his hands on his hips.
“Are you trying to talk me out of this now? After talking me into it?”
The BH looked a little embarrassed.
“No.”
“Well, then. See ya in a week or
two!” Gerald saluted jauntily with his stick and started down the road, with
Frederick close behind him.
The BH watched them until they were
out of sight. Then turned as a tall, strapping, well-armed young man and his companions
stopped beside his little booth.
“A fortune-teller! Yo-ho, my good
man! How about a fortune for me and my friends?”
“Cross my palm with silver, and I
shall tell you what I see.”
“I’ll do it.” The young man held up
a coin, then made a show of placing it in the blue palm. “Make it good,
my man!”
One of his companions laughed. “How
could it be anything but, Gerald? You are the village champion at . . .
everything.”
Gerald tried to look embarrassed,
but failed miserably.
“Gerald?” the BH stared. “You say your name is Gerald?”
“How can you not know him?” another
companion said. “He’s been the chief defender of this village since he
could hold a sword!”
“Erm. I’m not from this village.”
The BH looked down the road after the first Gerald and his companion. “Oh,
dear.”
Diane, you'll have to write a sequel to this story, how else can we know what happened to Greald, and even which Gerald is really the rigt hero. Intriguing story.
ReplyDeleteOh, Gerald. He does get into shenanigans!
DeleteWow! I'd also like to know what happens to Gerald the First! Love your storytelling.
ReplyDeleteYou've made my day, Laurie!
DeleteAnd I can never get the link to work on your picture, Laurie! It takes me to a page that is no longer in use!
DeleteOops.
ReplyDeleteEven soothsayers have bad days...
I don't think they want it spread around...
DeleteE.C. is right. It is just the way it is.
ReplyDeleteI think he should have had his sacrificial animals and innards. Ick.
DeleteOops . . .
ReplyDelete"Oh, dear" is probably an understatement from BH, eh? lol
Don't you just love an understatement?!
Delete'OH DEAR' indeed...but hey...who knows...it may turn out all right in the end.
ReplyDeleteExactly! The REALLY unlikely hero!
DeleteOh no! The wrong Gerald. The first Gerald is going to be disappointed when he doesn't get the girl...unless he does and turns out to be a better Gerald than the other.
ReplyDeleteHmm... the little, skinny guy gets the girl. Perfect!
DeleteTalk about an oops. Unless, of course, River is right.
ReplyDeleteIntriguing, right?!
Delete