Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Monday, December 23, 2019

Groaner for Christmas

The Little Things: Laura Sylvestri Photography
Some questions:

Does Claustrophobic label those afraid of Santa Claus?
And low elf esteem in Santa’s elf? Depressed by what he was?

Is Christmas like your job? You work. The fat guy gets the credit.
And do you call an Elf who sings a wrapper? There, I said it.

Did Rudeolph get his famous name because he was obnoxious?
Are they really saying deck the Halls? A lawsuit makes me cautious.

Is the Christmas script unlike the rest because it has no-el?
A disbelieving kid a Rebel Without a Claus? Do tell.

Why is Santa’s Christmas wrap exactly like my Mom’s?
Is Santa Claus North Polish? Please, this question’s irked me some.

Is subordinate claus what Santa calls his clever little minions?
This Christmas time, because I’m broke, can I gift you my opinion?

When the Gingerbread man makes up his bed, does he use a cookie sheet?
Does Santa have three gardens for his “Hoe. Hoe. Hoe.”? Please Tweet.

These are things that scorn me when awake at half-past two.
Those trivial things that I can’t answer. Tell me, now, can you?

But while you think, remember, that it’s not the gifts and tree,
But who is there beside you as you’re sipping on Chablis.
The family and those friends with whom you live throughout the year.
And without whom life would be sad here in this biosphere.

Cause Mondays do get knocked a lot,
With poetry, we all besought
To try to make the week begin
With pleasant thoughts. Perhaps a grin?
So, all of us, together, we
Have crafted poems for you to see.
And now you've seen what we have wrought...
Did we help?
Or did we not?


Next week, we'll tell you all about,
Our Resolutions, Better Watch Out...

9 comments:

  1. So clever! I love this, the cookie sheet for the gingerbread man, and the gardens , made me laugh! Wishing you a wonderful holiday!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh man ... you really can write it. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

    ReplyDelete
  3. cookie sheet! wrapper! ba ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    Merry Christmas Diane!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are the queen of puns in poetry, Diane! The Christmas wrap from Santa being "just like Mom's" - we had "special" wrap and tags for/from Santa for years, and special handprinting, too. It worked for a long time :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well done! You have done a wonderful job of the groaners.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love this cleverness! Especially the gingerbread man using a cookie sheet to make his bed.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love that! I'm more of the "can I give you my opinion?"

    ReplyDelete

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