Fiddled

Okay, yes, I’ve recited/ sung this rhyme all my life. It’s only now I’m trying to make sense of it:

Hey, Diddle Diddle,

The Cat and the fiddle,

The Cow jumped over the moon,

The little Dog laughed to see such sport,

And the Dish ran away with the Spoon.

Okay, let’s try to unpack this whole thing from the beginning. First off, who names their child Diddle? Especially when said child has (sadly) already been saddled with the surname ‘Diddle’. Isn’t that just cruel? At the very least it shows a distinct lack of imagination! What are your thoughts?

Now on to the main part of the rhyme…

Right off, there’s the ‘Cat and the Fiddle’ thingy. Am I right in questioning what that cat doing with that fiddle? He surely wasn’t playing it. I’m no expert, but from observation, it appears one needs the use of one’s thumbs.

One thing I do know is this: no self-respecting cat has ever been caught with even one such digit. Tell me if I’m wrong. Sadly, the idea of a fiddle-playing cat conjures up the scary sound of the scrape of horsehair against strings that could only be labeled: ghastly. 

Moving on…

And now let’s tackle the cow. 

This particular bovine seems capable of heretofore unheard of altitudinal achievements. I owned cows. And watched as one in particular, who had been happily grazing with a herd of deer, tried to follow said deer as they lightly leaped our pasture fence.

She applied bovine brakes in the nick of time. What followed would have doubtlessly been an udder disaster. (*snort*) 

So, if a cow is physically incapable of leaping a four-foot fence, how could she possibly achieve the 405,500 km (251,000 miles) or the estimated distance between the earth and moon.

Not only that but there’s the whole ‘breaking-free-of-the-earth’s-gravity’ to be reckoned with. You’ve seen the power and force needed for rockets to achieve this. I have yet to see a booster rocket affixed to a cow. Though the thought does conjure up a unique visual. 

Nope. The only thing I’ve ever seen coming from the back end of a cow is…quite disgusting. And, I should point out, something that definitely wouldn’t be capable of sending said cow very far up. Although it has been known to send someone (ie. me) pretty far away… Just sayin’.

Then we move on to the little dog. Laughing. Now this one I can believe. Oh, you know I’ve seen my dog crack a grin or two at my calamities. And I’m pretty certain that, when she and her goofball buddies get together, they only pretend to be off playing.

In reality, they are snickering together over their respective master’s/mistress’ misfortunes. Tell me you’ve seen them. Jerks. And then they have the nerve to come back, tails wagging and doggie kisses ready. Not that I’ll ever succumb… Nope. Nope. No… Awww, I can’t stay mad at you!   Where was I…?

And that brings us to the whole dish and spoon debacle. Or, more precisely, their ‘running away’. I want to know, first off, if the spoon was a willing participant. I mean, the dish ran away with it. That sounds highly suspicious to me. Shouldn’t they have run off together?

And another thought: Often this phrase, ‘running away’ is used to express some sort of sordid affair. In which other parties (not included in the tale) may be elsewhere being betrayed and thusly: sad.

That or they were joining a circus. Either way, I’m not seeing a long-term relationship resulting. 

I say we give the whole rhyme a do-over…
Hey, Michael Diddle,
All cats are a riddle,
The cows only look at the moon (405,000+ km away).
The little dogs laughed cause they're all just jerks,
And the dish and the spoon had a mutually fulfilling relationship.
You’re right. It was better the other way.

Today’s post is a writing challenge. Each month one of the participating bloggers pick a number between 12 and 50. All bloggers taking part are then challenged to write using that exact number of words in their post either once or multiple times. 

This month’s word count number is: 50
It was chosen by: Mimi!

Links to the other Word Counters posts:
BakingIn ATornado
Messymimi’sMeanderings